The Words Not Said
by dressaddiction
Summary: "What's harder than making someone fall in love with you? Making them fall for you the second time." Natsu has to get Lucy to fall back in love with him, and it's definitely not going to be easy.
1. The Cave

A/N: Hello~ So this is my first published fanfiction. Originally the story was supposed to be a plot used for an online comic I was planning, but after a while, I realized that the plot of the comic wasn't develop enough to be an entire series. Nonetheless, I thought it would be nice to share it as a fanfiction, replacing my original characters with Hiro Mashima's character and weaving in the aspects of Fairy Tail into it. Another reason why I'm publishing it on is because I wanted to experiment with writing. So even if the plot itself is not develop enough or my writing style is bothersome, I hope you can bear with me.

Lucy is not dead. I hope you can keep that in mind. Another thing is that the first few chapters will be told in various flashbacks so I hope you won't get too confused as to what is going on.

Ready set go! I hope you guys enjoy reading! :)

* * *

Natsu blamed himself for the incident. After all, he was there when it happened. He witnessed everything from the morning that they decided to take that regrettable job to the night that Lucy was taken away from him. No matter what anyone else said to comfort him, he still saw it as his fault. Gray and Erza tried to convince him otherwise since they were also there when it happened but in the end he continued to blame himself. Even as he walked towards the cave, even as he entered the dark entrance, and even when Happy tried to cheer him up as he floated behind the dragon slayer; Natsu continued to blame himself. It was him that offered the job to Lucy when she whined about staying back. Instead of letting her off, he selfishly convinced her to come with him. It was his fault for forcing her to go on a mission she didn't want to go on and it was his own fault for not being strong enough to protect her.

Sure, Erza and Gray were friends with Lucy but they didn't feel the same thing he felt towards her. What he had towards her was different. It was like Lucy was his addiction and now without her he was going through some kind of withdrawal. On certain nights he would have nightmares about her. In the nightmare, he saw Lucy begging for help, clutching herself in pain and he would rush over to save her. But every time he tried to move closer, desperately trying to touch her figure she would inch farther and farther away. The farther she got, the faster he would try to run after her. But in the end, his feet would give up in defeat and he would fall, only to look up and see that Lucy had already disappeared from his sight. At that moment he would wake up in cold sweat in her bed looking over to see if she was there only to be disappointed time and time again with her absence. He would then proceed to clutch her pillow, inhaling her scent. Even if she wasn't there, wouldn't it be okay for him to pretend she was? The bed always felt so cold without Lucy there. She always thought that it was him who kept her warm but really it was her that kept him warn. This was such an ironic situation since he could use fire magic. But in the end it didn't matter. Because without Lucy, his best friend and partner, he felt empty. Choosing to try to go back to sleep, he would then close his eyes and take a deep breath and as her scent allured into him, he began to imagine that she was sleeping soundly next to him. With each and every day, he felt her scent slowly start to dissipate and disappear. The first few days he came back from the mission, her scent was everywhere; it was mind boggling to think that she was no longer there. And now, six months later, it was fading. Natsu feared that one day it will be gone all together and that was a day that he tried to push in the back of his mind. Lucy's essence was in this room and he didn't want it to disappear. He didn't want to forget her. He felt himself drifting off to sleep. It seemed as though imagining Lucy's presence was the only way he could get a night's rest.

Despite his obvious depression, Natsu tried his best to put a smile on his face even though the girl he smiled for was no longer around. He didn't want his nakama to worry about his well being. And although everyone could see right through his facade, they smiled sadly with him because sometimes the best way to move forward with things is just to pretend. They pretended as though Lucy wasn't really gone, that she was just taking a sick day or one of those long vacation she always talked about. This way they could get through the day without realizing that Lucy was no longer there. Although it was a sad way to cope with the loss of a beloved family member, they couldn't help but act this way. It was just how it became after they realized that she wasn't coming back.

Whenever Natsu chose his missions, they were no longer random but he would carefully choose the ones that were close to this particular location. That way he could have an excuse to visit the cave even though he knew that nothing had changed since the last time he visited. He could never stay away for too long. After all, he was going through withdrawal. He needed to be close to her even though he couldn't touch her or hear her or even smell her scent. But somehow being in the place of her presence gave him a bittersweet moment of peace.

The darkness of the cave gave way to a small dim light as he continued to walk down the trodden path. And as he headed deeper inside, it slowly got brighter as the light started to reflect off those clear stone-like minerals inside the stone cave walls. It was well known that this was no ordinary cave. This was a cave where lacrimas were mined and in this very cave was where the incident happened, an incident that he felt could have been prevented but wasn't.

As he continued to walk, he heard the crushing sound of broken lacrimas under his feet, that and the sound of the silence between him and his feline partner. As the two continued down the path, he couldn't help but think back on what had happened that day. He couldn't help but constantly replay everything in that event over and over in his head to try and find what exactly they did wrong. After all, it started out as a normal mission, so how exactly did it end up like this? They were supposed to succeed and they were all supposed to head home like always. Lucy was _supposed_ to get tired and go to bed _like always_ and _like_ _always_, he was _supposed_ to sneak into her bed, followed by her kicking him right out the window._ Like always_. So how exactly did the once "like always" rituals turn into nothing but past memories? Instead, he now finds himself sneaking into her apartment even though he knew she was no longer there. He finds himself scanning the guild in hopes of seeing her sitting on a chair sipping her favorite drink. He finds himself trying to find her in a crowd of people even though he knew that it wasn't going to happen. Still, Natsu liked to hope. He hoped that one day he would come into the guild and Lucy would be there waiting for him as usual. And then he would make his way up to her, telling her that they should go on a mission together like always and that this entire incident was just nothing more than a dream fabricated by his mind so his heart could finally realize just how much Lucy meant to him. But this realization came too late because Lucy was gone. Well, not exactly. Natsu knew where Lucy was but he couldn't talk to her and even if he tried, Lucy wouldn't be able to speak back.

He took a turn into another tunnel and replayed the incident over again in his mind. Constantly, he would pause, replay, and repeat. Every time he would come to the same conclusion; that he was too weak to protect Lucy and that she was no longer of this world. But he still continued with this action, in hopes that he could pick up on something that he didn't see before.

* * *

"Lucyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Natsu's voice ranged out as he saw the celestial mage enter the guild. "Let's go on a mission!"

The blonde looked over to him with an eyebrow raised. They had just went on a mission two days ago and already Natsu insisted they go on another one. Lucy wanted a break. After all, being dragged along by a hyperactive fire mage and his cat was not necessarily what one would call "relaxing." Not to mention, the most recent mission they went on resulted in yet _another_ destroyed town and yet _another_ large pay cut. How was she going to pay her rent now? Every time they went on a mission, they would succeed but why did the success have to come with so much destruction? Whatever happened to getting a gold medal for saving a town or getting a memorial statue erected in your honor? Most of the time, they were lucky that the townspeople didn't turn into a mob, pitchfork and torches in hand. The fact that they even got a pay last time was a God-sent miracle! Now, every time they completed a mission, Lucy would make a mental note to herself, "note to self, never go on a mission with Natsu. Ever." But like always, she ended up going against her mental promise because Natsu being Natsu, flashed his signature smile that could brighten anybody's day. Well, except for Gray's. Natsu's smile would probably just get himself into another fight if he flashed it at Gray...or Gajeel. But on her, it worked like a charm. Immediately she felt her face heat up and she swears that her face turned redder than Erza's hair.

"No!" Lucy replied. "The last time we went on a mission was two days ago! And like always, you destroyed the town. There's something in this world called self-control that obviously you (or anybody else in this guild) do not grasp the meaning of! And as always, I have to apologize to the town mayor and accept our measley pay. If you want to go around destroying cities, be my guest. But please, Natsu, leave me out of it just this once."

"But Lucyyyyyy!" He dragged out her name again.

"But Lucyyyyyy!" Happy repeated.

She hated when he did that. It made her feel obliged to accept his offer and no way, she did not want to go through the same incident again. She was absolutely, positively sure that she was not going to accept.

"I'm not going." There ya go Luce, put your foot down!

"But we're partners!" Natsu exclaimed, his eyes and ears perking up, putting on his best smile in hopes of getting through to her. "And it's not the same without you."

That was the second thing she hated. Well, half-way hated. She hated how Natsu used this same line over and over again whenever he wanted to drag her to some far off place to destroy things. She hated how it made her feel all fuzzy inside, how it made her feel as though she might be special in his eyes just as he is special in hers. She hated how it made her mind all jumbled up, causing her to believe that Natsu sees her as unique and irreplaceable. But most of all, she hated how it worked on her. Every. Single. Time.

"Fine," Lucy agreed. "But this time, I'm keeping an eye on you to make sure that absolutely nothing goes wrong. If you go overboard one more time, Mavis help you, I will Lucy kick you so hard you won't even think about having kids in the future."

"Alright! I already chose the mission and this one is a really high paying one so even if we did get a pay cut," he said, holding up a piece of paper with a big 700,000J printed at the top, "we'll still probably get enough to pay for your rent!"

Lucy took the paper from his hand and scanned it with her eyes. The mission seemed easy enough. There's a town a little far off that makes its money from mining lacrimas from a cave. Apparently, they used mages to mine the cave but lately, the mages have been coming back with their magic weakening. The job was simple, find out what the mysterious force that was weakening the mages' magic, and stop it.

"Are you guys going on a job?" Lucy's ears perked up and her eyes left the paper, landing on the Erza. She had just arrived to the guild and already she wanted to tag along. "If you are, then we should go together," Erza smiled.

Lucy didn't have the heart to say no to her. Well, maybe she did have the heart to say no, but she valued her life too much to go against Erza's suggestion. But then again, if Erza went, it meant that she could knock Natsu out during the train ride so the journey there might be filled with peace and quiet. But then again, Natsu and Erza mean double the possibility of the town being destroyed.

"Yo! You guys going on another mission after just two days of rest?" The ice maker suddenly shot up out of nowhere.

Nevermind, now the doubled possibility has now tripled. Lucy couldn't help but mentally cry to herself. She always felt weak compared to the three but when it comes to self-control Lucy definitely had the upper hand. She liked to take things in stride and only overdid things when the situation called for it. The other three were so powerful, yet they always did things in excess. To this day, Lucy still wonders how they never manage to injure any innocent civilians during the barrage of power. Between the tornado of swords Erza throws out, the fire cannon Natsu shoots, and the ice storm Gray cooks up, it was a wonder why the three haven't been named a natural disaster yet. Lucy could already see it now...Team Natsu strikes the town of Magnolia with a scale of 9.0, emergency aid is now being sent to the victims of natural disaster. Lucy sighed to herself. It was going to be another one of those missions. The ones where Lucy questions the very reason why she joined Fairy Tail in the first place.

"Yeah," Lucy answered back to Gray. "I kind of need money for my rent. The last mission wasn't exactly a well-paid one."

"Well, I'll tag along and help out a bit. I got the time."

Before Lucy could even open her mouth to tell Gray that every time he "tagged along" it only resulted in even more destruction and an even bigger pay cut, Natsu decided to participate in their ritual game of name calling and fighting.

"No one's asking you to come boxer boy!"

"Who says I need your permission, flame brain?!"

With that Erza took the chance to grab both of the mages' hair at the same time and slammed their heads together. It was an instant KO, a signature of Titania. As the ice and fire mage laid on the ground, slowly trying to regain their consciousness, Lucy couldn't help but crack a smile. Sure the three were a little destructive at time but they always seem to keep things lively. She couldn't imagine her life without her guild mates. It was too terrifying to even think about. And with that final thought, Lucy decided that it was time to go to head out on their mission and right on cue, the two once unconscious mages rose up and headed out along with her with a floating blue cat, followed by Erza's giant wagon load of suitcases.

* * *

Natsu sighed as he remembered back on that day. It seemed as though the tunnel in the cave had gotten longer than the last time he visited, but he knew he was inching his way closer to his destination. He's been to this cave so many time, he could go through it blindfolded without even touching the walls for support.

"We should be there soon," Happy said aloud.

"Yeah," Natsu quietly agreed before resuming to his thoughts.

* * *

"Ughh," Natsu grumbled. He could feel it now. The nausea was setting in. His head felt like his head was going to burst and his lunch of fire food was coming back up. If it could take him from one place to the other, it was going to make him sick. Lucy giggled when she noticed his predicament. No matter how many times Natsu boarded transportation, his body never got used to the movement and so the all powerful Salamander was rendered defenseless by a mere train. She kind of felt bad for him though so she beckoned him to lay on her lap to help ease the nausea.

Natsu loved it when Lucy did this. There was something about it, laying in her lap and all. Sure he was then skin to skin with her smooth legs but it was more than just that. He felt comfortable when he laid there even if he was on a train and was about to upchuck every bit of food he had in last hour. But as he rested his head he felt the two pairs of eyes on him, and then he remembered that Erza and Gray decided to tag along. And he remembered that Erza and Gray decided to tag along. Oh my Mavis! HE REMEMBERED THAT ERZA AND GRAY DECIDED TO TAG ALONG. When the thought finally processed through his brain he immediately sat up and decided that it would be better for him to suffer with the nausea than to have Erza and Gray look questioningly at him. Usually Natsu didn't mind laying his head onto Lucy's lap when it was just him, Lucy, and Happy together, but with Erza and Gray, he felt like he had to be more aware of his actions so he wouldn't give anything away. No way in hell would he allow Gray the freedom of teasing him for what had just happened.

He then felt it, his lunch coming up, the feeling that he was trying desperately to avoid. Being careful not to step on anyone's feet, he ran out to "get some fresh air". Happy, seeing that his partner was having more than he could handle decided to follow Natsu outside in order to keep an eye on him, making sure he would be okay. It was then that Happy saw it with his keen eye. Usually Natsu's face would glow from green to blue whenever he felt sick but this time, it was red. Not just a peachy shade but a bright red shade. It was as if all the fire in his body rose to his face at that moment and that was when it clicked. Natsu was blushing. He was embarrassed. He was embarrassed over the fact that he had forgotten that Gray and Erza was with them and he unknowingly decided to put his head on Lucy's lap. Happy couldn't help but chuckled as he notice this, but he quickly followed behind pretending as though what he just witnessed was a hallucination.

As Lucy saw Natsu's silhouette move farther away from her seat, she couldn't help but feel disappointed in what had just happened. Usually Natsu jumped at the chance to rest himself onto her lap, but why did he push away this time? Maybe she smelled? Happy was always going on about how Natsu liked her scent so maybe it was because she switched shampoo yesterday. As her eyes trailed after his distant shadow, Erza and Gray took the chance to question Lucy about what just happened.

"So..." Gray started off. "What's up with you and Natsu?"

Lucy swore at the word "Natsu", steam started to blow out of her ears. Sure, she might have had a teensy bitty slab of affection towards the dragon slayer after all they've been through together. Okay, she needed to be more honest with herself. "Teensy" and "bitty" are not the words that would describe the amount of emotions she held for her teammate. The word "infinite" seems to fit the bill better. She still remembers the day they met so clearly and not to mention, the numerous occasions in which he saved her. But that was exactly it. Lucy had always felt a little useless whenever Natsu saved her. Of course she appreciated it every time, but there was always a feeling in the back of her mind telling her that maybe, just maybe, the fire mage was getting tired of saving her all the time. Maybe it was her own fault for always getting caught by the bad guys. Oh the woes of being one of the last celestial mages! And because of this, Lucy had tried her best to withhold any feelings for Natsu that surfaced. She was sure that he would find her affections a burden or an inconvenience.

"N-N-Nothings up!" Lucy exclaimed. Darn it, just thinking about Natsu was making her trip over her own words.

"Are you sure?" Erza added in. "It seems as though you two are getting closer."

"It's nothing. We're really good friends, but that's about it. I was just helping him with his motion sickness."

"By placing his head on your lap?" Gray asked with one eyebrow raised.

At this point Lucy knew that the conversation was going to circle itself. No matter what anyone says about her relationship with Natsu, she refused to accept anything beyond "just friends". But why must Gray and Erza be so stubborn? Why must _she_ be so stubborn? Why couldn't she just admit that she liked Natsu as more than just a friend or partner? It was fear. There was so much fear of ruining what was already established and so much fear of rejection. Lucy didn't think that she could bear a heartbreak. She would rather get beaten up by Gajeel for the second time.

"You know, Lucy," Erza began to say. "It's okay to like a friend, but refusing to admit or confess these feelings is like saying that your affections aren't worth it. Don't you think your feelings for Natsu is worth more than the fear of being pushed away. After all, doesn't love conquer fear?"

How did Erza do that? Other than having her weapons magic, her amazing body, her incredible strength, resilience, and confidence, did Erza also possess mind reading abilities as well?

"Yeah," replied Gray. "I'm pretty sure flame head likes you too."

Since when did Gray and Erza turn into Mira? Maybe she spiked their drinks or something. There was no way Natsu liked her. Natsu was well, Natsu. He wasn't the type to fall in love. He probably loved her as much as he loved Happy. And she definitely did not find it pleasing that she was placed in the same affections zone as Happy. If there was a slim chance that Natsu loved anyone, it would definitely be Lisanna, not her. After all, they've known each other longer and understand each other better and didn't they already decide to get married when they were younger? And Lucy was not the type to come between two childhood lovers. She always felt envious of how innocent and precious the connection between the two was. But at the same time, she admired it. She admired just how much Natsu cared for Lisanna as much as how much Lisanna cared for Natsu. And she couldn't help but notice that when those two talk they don't get into arguments or fights or become frustrated the way she and Natsu did. Lucy felt her heart drop just thinking about it. Her and Natsu just didn't seem compatible the way Lisanna and him were.

Lucy proceeded to put on a fake smile, "No. He's Natsu, he probably doesn't even realize what 'falling in love' is."

Erza and Gray both looked at each other and smiled in triumph. Of course, it was a bittersweet victory. They didn't exactly get a proclamation of love from her but they didn't see her denying her feelings after what Erza had said. At the same time the two were surprised at her answer. They could tell that the smile Lucy wore was not her genuine smile and they felt hurt that their friend felt sad over the question.

Gray proceeded to place a hand on Lucy's shoulder and smiled cunningly.

"Well," he said with a sly grin, "you're not denying your feelings. You're denying his."

Before you know it, Lucy became red and flustered when Gray pointed this out. She was pressing her two index finger against each other in embarrassment, muttering incoherently about a misunderstanding. Erza grinned at this moment. She knew that Gray purposely said this to get Lucy in this state. Her shyness about her feelings was nothing less than adorable.

Gray smiled at himself. Lucy was so easy to tease. It was so cute seeing her blush and react in such a way when he mentioned the word "feelings". He couldn't help but laugh at the scene, only to earn a playful punch in the face courtesy of Lucy.

Outside of the train, Natsu was bending over the railings hurling everything from his breakfast to his midnight snack with Happy patting his back. Natsu couldn't help but feel just a little embarrassed over the earlier situation. Gray would never let him live this down! But why should he even care about what Erza and Gray thought. After all, the mission was supposed to only include Lucy, Happy, and him. Well, maybe it would have been a bit more pleasant if it was just Lucy and him. But nonetheless, he wouldn't have to suffer such humiliation if they hadn't invited themselves on his job. It would have been nice if he had gotten to lay on Lucy's lap. The warmth of her body heat would have seeped into his head and her scent would have filled his lungs. That was what he needed, not two unwanted people tagging along to interrupt it. For the love of Mavis! These days it was hard to find time to spend alone with Lucy. She was always in the library with Levy or helping behind the counter with Mira. Sometimes she even spends time with Gray which made him sick to his stomach to no end. He could feel it again, that disgusted feeling in his stomach. But he couldn't tell if it was because he was on hell on wheels or because his imagination was driving him insane. He inwardly cursed himself. Sure, he can take such a beating but when it comes to anything that moves from point A to point B he was defenseless.

* * *

Natsu snapped out of his flashback. Somehow he had managed to wander onto the wrong path while he was deep in thought. He wanted to punch himself. He did not need this right now. He needed to see Lucy. It's been two weeks since he's last found himself in the cave and now his problem was his own wandering mind.

"Ne, Natsu," Happy started to say. "I think you took a wrong turn. Maybe we should turn back a bit and see where we went wrong."

"Alright," Natsu agreed.

"I'll lead the way this time since your mind doesn't seem to be very focused right now."

With that, the dragon slayer nodded and let his feline partner take the lead. He kept his eyes on Happy but his mind continued to wander back to the memory.

* * *

A/N: Well, that's it for the first chapter~ I hope I didn't go on too much of a tangent. D:


	2. Lacrima

"We're here!" Erza exclaimed as she unloaded her massive amount of luggage.

The three other mages followed behind her as she exited the train and headed towards the nearby hotel. Natsu, still dizzy from the trip, was leaning on Lucy for support. His arms were slung around her shoulders and although he was heavy, Lucy tried her best to help him walk. She could feel his breath on her, lightly touching upon her skin and the more he breathed onto her, the weaker she felt. His knees, at this point, were trembling as though he had no muscles and the farther she tried to walk the more he leaned his weight onto her. She could have sworn that he was doing this on purpose, tormenting her like this. Seeing Gray passing buy, she looked pleadingly at him for help.

"I'm going to follow Erza," Gray said. Before he left, he winked at Lucy, causing her face to turn red either from embarrassment or from anger.

She couldn't believe what Gray had just did. He purposely left her with Natsu for some unknown reason. Does he know how much this idiot weighs?! Spotting a bench close by, she made her way towards it. It was difficult enough that Natsu weighed so much, but what made it worse was that he was practically a human radiator. It was fine on those cold winter nights but not in the middle of July! Lucy wasn't sure which was hotter, the blazing sun or the dragon slayer she was practically carrying. She was so close, just inching from the bench that was sent from heaven in her time of need.

Finally, Lucy managed to reach the bench where she set herself down, waiting patiently for Erza and Gray. Luckily, the bench was under the shade of a large tree, otherwise she probably would have suffered a heatstroke. She turned her head and looked over at Natsu who was now resting his head on her shoulder, his bangs covering his eyes. She took the moment to move them out of the way to reveal deep onyx eyes. They were still open but they seemed to be unfocused, yet at peace. Maybe the motion sickness was wearing off. Taking the opportunity, she started to warn Natsu about messing up on this mission

"You better not destroy the town again," Lucy started.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault," Natsu protested. "The guy was asking for it!"

He was still tired but he made an effort to defend himself. The last guy Natsu fought was trafficking young girls across the borders of Fiore. It was all going fine and well. Natsu was holding his own, matching the criminal easily. He hadn't even scratched a building yet. Maybe this time, Lucy will thank and praise him for his efforts in trying to keep the town intact. He smiled triumphantly to himself. But then the dark mage mentioned something that made his blood boil. He threatened to kidnap Lucy. It was then that the criminal dug his own grave. Natsu was not going to let this guy get away, even if it meant destroying the entire region. The dark mage kept taunting him. Throwing things such as making Lucy work in a brothel and how he'll become her favorite customer. It was like the fire in him kept growing stronger from the anger, and it wasn't long before Natsu could barely contain it, causing a large rupture of power. He easily defeated the dark mage then, but at the expense of the historical town's architecture. He earned himself an extremely long and boring rant from Lucy on the trip home. And although he nodded every now and then, in truth, he wasn't listening to Lucy at all. She kept on going on and on about "historical importance" and "cultural buildings" and such, not realizing that Natsu cared more about her well-being than about some old houses. He would blow up all of Fiore if it meant keeping her safe. But he didn't want to mention this to Lucy. If he did, she'll probably face palm herself and then tell him that he was overreacting. And he absolutely believed that what he did was justifiable.

"You say that about every guy you beat up," Lucy started to complain.

"But this guy was different. He was saying things that I didn't like." Natsu was now staring at the ground. He didn't want to make eye contact with her. Her deep brown eyes would tear a hole in his soul.

"Look, Natsu," she sighed. Reaching out, she cupped and face and turned his head so he was looking at her. "Let's put everything about the last trip behind us. I won't complain about it anymore as long as you promise to try your best not to do the same on this mission." She then held out her pinky, eager for him to return her gesture.

Natsu stared at her. It was nice that she wanted to start over but he wasn't as dumb as everyone seem to think he is. He knew that if the situation was bad enough, he wouldn't be able to control himself. And Natsu was definitely not the kind of guy to make a promise he can't keep, or at least that what he tells himself. The other members of the guild can definitely testify against it.

"Nah," he stuck out his tongue childishly and then turned this motion into a large grin. "If this guy deserves a beating, then you bet I'll be wiping the floor with him. I'm not promising anything."

Lucy pouted. Natsu couldn't help but find it just a little cute. The way her hair fell as she did this, the way she crossed her arms over her chest, how she suddenly stood up straighter, how her eyebrows furrowed, how the corner of her smiling lips curved into that pout, it was all to irresistible. Natsu continued to smile when he spotted Gray and Erza from the corner of his eye waving at them to get their attention. Way to ruin the moment right? Lucy was the first to stand up. She turned around and started to head towards her two friends at the hotel. Her face was no longer in view, and all Natsu saw was her back facing towards him. But before she took a stride, she turned her head back at Natsu.

"If you love me, you'll control yourself on this mission." This time, she was the one who stuck out her tongue childishly before running towards the hotel.

Natsu sat there for a moment, reliving in what had just happened. He watched her silhouette move farther away towards his other friends. A breeze blew by, causing her hair to sway over. Her skirt flew up and Lucy quickly pressed her hands down onto her skirt to keep her underwear from revealing itself. He heard her squeak in embarrassment. He chuckled to himself, seeing her react in such a way. It was then that Natsu decided something. That no matter what happens on this mission, he would absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it, try his very best to keep the entire town intact. He then stood up and followed behind her. There was no way he was going to break this secret promise he just made with Lucy.

* * *

"It's definitely this way Natsu!" Happy cheerfully exclaimed. Natsu merely nodded in agreement. He was obviously still in thought and Happy continued to lead his partner to the their destination. As he floated along the path, he noticed a flower blooming on the ground. It was odd that a flower would bloom in such a place that lacked sun and water, not to mention it was in the middle of winter right now, but it was beautiful despite the obvious lack of necessities. Happy dove towards the ground and grabbed onto its stem. He yanked and he pulled but the flower refused to budge. Natsu, not watching where he was going, ended up walking right onto Happy.

"Oi, Happy!" said the confused Salamander. "What are you doing under my foot?"

"No, Natsu," Happy said, his voice muffled by the fact that his face was planted into the ground. "The obvious question is what is your foot doing on top of me."

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," he apologized. "What are you doing on the ground anyways? Weren't you flying earlier?" Natsu took a step back, freeing the exceed from the ground.

Happy pulled himself out of the dirt and straightened out his body. He wasn't sure if his spine was in its correct position but he decided to not dwell on it. Natsu's foot planting him into the ground wasn't the worst he's been through. He looked up to see if the flower was still there or if Natsu stepped on it just as he did to him. Happy breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the beautiful blossom was untouched by the dragon slayer.

"I was flying, but I saw this pretty flower on the ground," Happy pointed at the lone plant. "And I thought that it was odd that a flower would be growing in a place with no sun or water. But, it's a really pretty flower despite this, so I wanted to pick it and give it to Lucy."

Natsu smiled at Happy. It was the first time in a long time that Happy saw his partner smile for real. Not a fake one that he always wore at the guild, but a real one. Happy remembered when his partner smiled like this. It was during those days when Lucy was around. She was always so easy to mess with and Happy couldn't help but feel as though he had lost a sister; a sister that he liked to tease and make fun of but in truth truly cared for. Happy also smiled as he thought of this but it was a smile coming from sadness not from happiness. Natsu bent down and pulled on the plant and handed it to Happy.

"I'm sure she'll love it," Natsu grinned and Happy nodded in agreement, continuing to lead the way.

* * *

"But I don't want to go tonight," Lucy whined. "Can't this wait until tomorrow?"

"Come on, Luce," Natsu was practically dragging Lucy by the arm at this point. For a girl, Lucy sure did put up quite a fight. He didn't use all his strength, of course. If he did, he might have pulled Lucy's arm right off. "The faster we get this mission done, the faster we can go home, and the faster we can pay your rent!"

"But we just got here a few hours ago," she continued to whine. "And it's ten at night!"

"Well, the early bird catches the worm!"

"You idiot! That doesn't even make sense in this situation!" She was now clutching onto the door frame with one hand. The other was still being pulled on by the dragon slayer.

"Gray and Erza are already waiting downstairs for us," Natsu looked at Lucy. "Think of it this way. If we finish the mission tonight, you can have the entire next two days to relax and enjoy this town all you want since Erza booked the rooms for three nights."

At that moment, Lucy's face lit up like a kid during Christmas morning. She had wanted a vacation for a while now and even two days seemed like a tropical getaway when you involve the three destructive mages. She can use the time to explore the town and gain inspiration for her novel! Lucy was already planning every second of her newfound future vacation and all she had to do was complete the mission today. It was simple enough when you have such powerful mages with you. What could possibly go wrong? She paused for a moment and face palmed herself. She did not just seriously say that. It was a century to soon to say that Erza, Gray, and Natsu weren't going to destroy everything in sight. Her brain was obviously malfunctioning today. She relaxed herself and allowed Natsu to drag her down to the hotel lobby.

"Look! Natsu and Lucy are holding hands!" Happy cheerfully said as he saw his two partners walk down the stairs to the lobby where he, Erza, and Gray were waiting.

"We are not!" Lucy fumed back. "He was dragging me! Honest!"

"Wait, what's wrong with me holding your hand?" Natsu asked with an eyebrow raised. His eyes were focused on her and she could swear that they were piercing into the deepest darkest depths of her soul at that moment.

Lucy couldn't explain what she was feeling at that moment. She wasn't sure if she should be embarrassed that Happy pointed out Natsu's grip on her, smitten that Natsu actually cared about it, or angry at herself for reacting like this.

"Nothing!" she cried back. "There's nothing wrong with you holding my hand. It's just that, you're technically not, you're just gripping me by my wrist and dragging me behind you. And why does it even matter. You should let go now. Not that I don't like you holding on to me. I mean, I don't mind it, as long as you don't mind it-" Lucy felt her words jumbling together. She kept rambling on and on, not knowing how silly she was sounding.

And to make matters worse, Natsu just stared at her. Here she is, feeling as though her mind was being blown to smithereens because she didn't know what to say or feel and all Natsu was doing was staring. He was staring with that intent look in his eye, the one with such determination that made Lucy shiver just thinking about it. He didn't laugh at her or say anything but instead kept that keen look in his eye, locking his attention onto her. He couldn't help think that Lucy was being too cute for her own good at the moment. It was odd the way she acted. How most of the time she had all this self-confidence in her sex appeal and abilities but when it came to trivial matters she became so shy and reserved. After a moment of Lucy's rambling, he gave her a smile. One of those Lucy-you're-my-partner-so-don't-even-worry-about-it smiles and what happened next made Erza and Gray's eyes widen in shock.

Natsu loosened his grip on Lucy and instead of letting her go, he interlaced his fingers with hers.

"Better now?" he asked her with another one of his signature smile.

Lucy didn't say anything but Natsu was content with her silence. After all, she wasn't pushing him away. She wasn't desperately trying to pull her hand out. Instead, she reacted by squeezing his hand tighter for a moment as he led the way down to the rest of the stairs. The feeling of his hand against hers was warm to the touch but it wasn't sweaty or steamy like she thought it would be. She blushed slightly for recalling her past thoughts about what it would feel like to hold Natsu's hand. She thought it was odd that he was doing this, but she didn't care because she liked how he was acting at the moment, almost as though he liked her as much as he she liked him. And even if he was just doing this to be nice, she didn't mind. Because just for a moment she could pretend that they were secretly boyfriend and girlfriend, like a little kid playing house.

At the moment Natsu and Lucy reached the bottom of the steps, Happy's jaw had already reached the floor. Happy always knew that Natsu was confident but never in a million years would he ever think that Natsu would ever take the initiative. He was about to say something but Erza shot him "the look" and so Happy decided that it would be better to stay silent. Erza and Gray decided not to say anything either. They both knew that if they said something wrong, Lucy would get nervous and try pull away from Natsu in order to cover herself. It took practically forever for one of them to make a move and here they were witnessing Natsu holding Lucy's hand. If Mira was here she would have tried to plan their wedding already. But Erza and Gray were satisfied with just leaving their two best friends alone as the five of them headed to the location of the lacrima cave.

* * *

Natsu had stopped in his tracks. He was so close to her now. Earlier he had wasted a little time for wandering off the right path but Happy led them back and here they were, so close to her. It didn't matter how many times he visited this cave, the same feelings remained. He was nervous for some reason. Not seeing her for two weeks had led him to become stressed and frustrated with himself, and now all those negative feelings were going to go away soon. He was excited to see her but hesitant to continue walking to the location Lucy was.

"Hey, Natsu," Happy interrupted. "Why'd you stop all of a sudden?"

"No, reason," he replied back. "Guess I'm a little excited to see Lucy after so long."

"It hasn't been that long. Only two weeks."

"It's felt like an eternity if you ask me."

With that, Happy and Natsu continued on their way, knowing that the tunnel they were walking on would soon lead to a large cavern.

* * *

"Did hear that?" Lucy asked. Her three friends looked at her questioningly.

They had already enter the cave and despite the fact that it was night time, the lacrimas were glowing brightly enough for them to not need Natsu's flames to light the way. Natsu was still holding onto Lucy's hand. At the moment she asked about the noise she heard, he knew that something was wrong. Although Lucy was not as strong as him physically and her five senses weren't nearly as close to his, he never really doubted her other sense. After all, Lucy was a celestial mage. She could hear things on a spiritual level that he probably couldn't pinpoint. He gripped her hand a little tighter, leading her so she wouldn't hit the sharp edges of the lacrimas against the cave walls.

"Hear what?" asked Erza.

"Never mind," Lucy replied.

Lucy swore that she heard something. Something was calling her almost like a lullaby. The voice was very faint but she could tell that it was a girl. And so far, she didn't hear anything threatening. It was quite the opposite actually. The voice was very soothing and pleasant to listen to and it continued to lull her. It reminded Lucy of the songs her mother used to sing to her. The ones that would put her to sleep after she had a bad dream. She unconsciously loosened her grip on Natsu's hand. Seeing this action, Natsu only gripped her hand tighter. He felt something was wrong but he couldn't tell what. It almost looked as though Lucy wasn't here. Her presence was slowly fading off but her body was still moving with his.

The farther they moved into the cave, the clearer the voice got and Lucy could start to make out a few words. _Heart, emotions, humans_.

"Hey, I think the light is getting brighter here," Gray claimed.

"We all know that ice brain," Natsu remarked.

"I was just stating something, fire face!"

At this point, Natsu aggressively let go of Lucy's hand and ignited his own. Lucy didn't really know what to say. Anywhere they went, the two would find the excuse to fight. She wasn't upset over it since it was bound to happen from the beginning, but she couldn't help but miss the warm feeling Natsu's hand sent through her body.

"Stop it you two!" Erza's voice rang out.

There was silence. And then all four of the mages felt it. The ground started to shake and vibrate. In a single moment, a lacrima broke off from the cave ceiling and fell towards Lucy. Before she could even think about moving, Natsu lunged towards her and pushed her out of the way. In a swift motion, the lacrimas on the ceiling all started to fall down in a domino effect. The four mages and the exceed all ran for their life.

"This is all your fault!" screamed Erza.

"Our fault?" Gray questioned. "You were the one who screamed loud enough to cause a cave to fall apart."

"What did you just say?" Erza growled.

"N-n-n-n-nothing."

Team Natsu kept running. But the farther they ran the more they felt it. Somehow, the life was being sucked out of them and it wasn't from all that running. It was from something else. Gray was up in front and he felt it too as he was leading the team to a cavern he spotted. The feeling was similar to the time the tree on Tenrou island fell apart. He would never forget that feeling. The feeling of exhaustion all of a sudden, as though your body was shutting down. And no matter what amount of effort you tried to use to get up, your body refused to listen to you until you fall to the ground altogether. His magic energy was escaping his body even though he wasn't using any ice magic. Something was seriously wrong but he continued running to escape the rain of lacrima shards. Finally, the made it into the cavern.

The cavern kept them safe from the shards and the team stopped for a moment to catch their breath. They were all tired from all the running they put themselves through but they also felt exhausted for some unknown reason. And it seemed as though in the cavern, they felt worse for resting than they felt from running.

"Whoa," Happy's voice ranged out.

The four mages looked up to see a large diamond shaped lacrima a little taller than Natsu's height and about the width of two Reeduses. They had entered a cavern of lacrima heaven. The crystal-like objects weren't on the ceiling like it was in the cave tunnels but they were plastered all over the ground like a crystalized garden. As they stood there in amazement, they couldn't help but see just how beautiful the cavern is. And in a swift motion, Erza, Gray, Natsu, and Happy all fell to the ground.

Natsu felt as though his very breath was knocked right out of him. How did this happen? They were fine when they entered the cave so why in the center of it did they all of sudden feel so powerless and exhausted. He pulled his body together and tried his best to get up but there was no give. His body wasn't listening to his brain. He looked around him and sprawled along ground along with him was Happy, Erza, and Gray. He could see that they were trying to put in the same effort he was in order to get up. All of them were straining so hard but none of them had any energy. Natsu closed his eyes and concentrated. Maybe he could use the pulse of his fire to get himself up. Try as he might, he could even get a spark to come out of him. As they all laid sprawled on the ground, none of them noticed that Lucy was the only one who was still up until they heard her scream.

"Stop it!" her voice screeched. Natsu looked over to see Lucy clutching her head. Her eyes were shut and he could tell that whatever was happening to them was affecting Lucy in a different way. But he couldn't see anyone else in the cavern; just his teammates. So who was doing this to them?

"Lucy," Natsu managed to say. It was more of a whisper, and the sound of the weakness in his voice made him realized that even speaking was getting difficult.

"Please stop. I beg you." Lucy fell to her knees, tears rushing out of her eyes.

Breathing had started to become difficult for the mages laying flat on the ground. Natsu wanted to grab Lucy's hand. He wanted to calm her down and comfort her, telling her that everything will be alright, but even moving his arm was becoming a difficult task. It was like being paralyzed in the most exhausting way. He could hear her tears dropping to the ground. He hated to see her like this, crying so much for her friends. She was still clutching her head as though she was in pain and now she had started to shake her head frantically.

"Please," she begged.

Natsu felt his eyes closing but he fought to keep them open. Who was Lucy talking to? Why was she acting so scared and frantic so suddenly? Before he could even finish that thought, Lucy got to her feet. Slowly, she started to walk towards the large lacrima in the center of the cavern.

"Lucy what are you doing?" Natsu heard Gray say.

"Lucy, how come you can walk?" asked Happy.

She was getting closer and closer to the lacrima now. In that moment, Erza finally realized what was happening to her and her comrades. The lacrima was sucking away their magic and energy and Lucy was trying to stop this. There was something odd about her though. It was almost as if Lucy didn't hear them, almost as if she was in some sort of trance. The light in her eyes were gone and they appeared soulless and dead. Erza knew that whatever Lucy was trying to do wasn't going to end well. Mustering up all her energy, she was going to put all her effort to get Lucy's attention. She had to. She had to stop Lucy. Lucy was her friend and whatever she was planning to do for them wasn't something good. With a strained and heavy breath, Erza opened her mouth to speak.

"LUCY! STOP IT!"

Erza looked over in shock. The loud voice that rang out wasn't hers but it was Natsu's. Natsu managed to get to his feet but Erza could see that he was still so weak. He was staggering, trying to catch up to Lucy, but he was struggling so hard. He only took about three steps before he fell to the ground again. Where did Natsu get all this energy from? Here was the great Titania powerless on the ground and there was the Salamander using every bit of his energy to stop his friend Lucy from doing something stupid. Tears started to run down Erza's eyes. She hated seeing Natsu like this. He would get up only to fall again and then will do all over right afterwards.

"LUCY!" Natsu yelled out again.

"LUCY!" all her friends were yelling her name in unison now. They wanted to stop her from whatever she was trying to do. But no matter how loud they yelled out, she couldn't hear them. It was already too late.

Lucy had already brought her hand up to the lacrima and touched it lightly. There was a blinding brilliant bright light that shot out from the lacrima. And just as quickly as they lost their energy, they had gained it back. The fire, ice, and weapons mage as well as the exceed stood up. Lucy managed to get their energy back but as they looked over to find their friend, the celestial mage, they were shocked at what they saw.

* * *

Natsu finally made it to the cavern he had been heading towards for the last hour or so. It didn't help that he wandered off but he smiled lightly since he did manage to reach his destination. He took a step inside. The cavern looked the same as it did all the other times he visited. It hasn't changed since. There were lacrimas all along the ground of various sizes and shape. But there was one large lacrima that was the center of attention inside the entire cavern. Happy led the way and held the flower he had picked earlier for Lucy. Natsu followed slowly behind him. He hated and loved coming here at the same time. He liked visiting Lucy but not like this. Happy placed the flower at the base of the large lacrima. Natsu looked towards it and smiled sadly.

"Hi, Lucy," he greeted.

And there was Lucy, forever frozen in time, trapped inside the lacrima. She looked as though she was sleeping even though the position she was in was standing. Her eyes and face looked so serene and peaceful. Natsu desperately wanted to reach out and touch her but he knew that was impossible. There was no warmth coming from her, no life. He reached out his hand and traced the edge of the lacrima. He wanted to hear her voice, to smell her scent so badly that he felt his body aching from it. It didn't feel much different from the first time he saw her like this. It still felt just as painful, and he never got used to seeing her in this state. The Lucy he knew was so full of life and the Lucy he was seeing was a frozen still doll. He wanted her to wake up already. Or maybe he wanted himself to wake up. To wake up from this terrible nightmare he was trying to convince himself that he was having. But he knew the truth. Lucy placed herself inside the lacrima to save her friends. That's just how selfless and kind she is. But there were mysteries about Lucy that he never solved. He never found out why the power of the lacrima didn't affect her the way it affected him or how she knew that sacrificing herself would work. Those were questions that he felt would never be answered even if he traveled to the ends of the Earth.


	3. Lucy's Letter

A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than my previous ones. :I Thanks for all the reviews/favs/follows. I really appreciate it! Earlier I reread my last chapters and realized that I made quite a few grammatical/spelling mistakes hahaa but I'm too lazy to fix it. XDD

* * *

"I think it's time to go now," Natsu said.

It had gotten late since he spent hours just sitting inside the cavern, staring at the lacrima, hoping and wishing for Lucy to wake up. He always hated leaving her here all alone. Even if she was asleep or even if she couldn't see him visiting her, he didn't want to leave her in the darkness. It always worried him that one day she'll wake up alone not knowing where she was. Surely, it would have scared her but he convinced himself that Lucy wasn't weak; that even if she did wake up, she would find the way out herself. She was headstrong and intelligent like that. And those were only some of the things out of so many things that he loved about her.

"Alright," Happy answered.

The two of them took one last look at Lucy and said their goodbyes before they both exited the cavern and headed back to their home. The way back always took so much longer than the way there. Maybe it was because he had something to look forward to when he was heading towards the cavern, but as he left, he always had a feeling of dread. If he could, he would probably just live in the cavern for the rest of his life, but he knew he couldn't do that. If he did, Erza would drag him out by his hair all the way back to the guild, and that was something he would rather not happen.

They entered Lucy's apartment through the window. Natsu found himself in her apartment more than he did in his own house. He felt more at peace in a place that was filled with her scent, even if it was slowly fading away. But after his visit with Lucy today, he didn't want to leave her presence just yet. He wanted to wait a little longer before going back to his life. It's crazy how much he misses her, to the point that it was painful. He felt so pitiful. He had spent seventeen long years, SEVENTEEN YEARS, of his life without even knowing about Lucy's existence. They went both on their separate ways, not knowing each other but then one fine day led to a chance encounter in Hargeon, and ever since he couldn't be without her. Even though he didn't believe in fate, he couldn't help but feel as though fate had something to do with it. After all, he went to the town in search of his adoptive father and instead found something else that managed to help fill the void that the absence of Igneel had left in his heart. He started to wonder how many times the two had crossed paths before actually meeting each other, how many times fate had given them the chance to be friends but they ended up missing it just slightly. They could have bumped into each other on the streets before and not even know it, but it took an imposter Salamander and a bit of false information to bring them together. He wished he had met her sooner because he still felt as though the time they spent together before Lucy was frozen into the lacrima was a little too short.

He walked towards her bed and laid onto the covers. It felt cold without her there, but it was better than sleeping in his hammock back at his house. He inhaled her scent. It was weaker than the last time he was here and a worried look shot across his face. Natsu buried himself inside her blanket and her pillow. It didn't feel the same, but it was better than nothing. His guildmates are probably wondering if he got back from his mission yet. But in truth, he didn't want to face them just yet. He was hopeless right now without Lucy and he didn't feel like building up a strong front so soon. He sighed deeply when something poked at his head. At first he thought it was Happy playing a trick on him but he lifted his head from the pillow and saw something he didn't see before. Laying between Lucy's mattress and headboard was a corner of an envelope.

At first, Natsu didn't know what to do. This letter could have been a private letter that he shouldn't be touching and even if Lucy wasn't here, he shouldn't be invading her private space. He waited for a moment. Oh, what the heck. He was already inside her apartment so he technically already invaded her private space. Placing his fingers onto the corner of the letter, he slowly pulled it out from between the headboard and mattress carefully in order not to rip it. The envelope was neither folded nor crinkled and he observed it for a moment, but when he turned it over he was surprised to see his name written on it in nice clean scripted letters. Natsu blushed slightly. Was this a love letter?

Natsu was anxious and nervous. He wasn't sure if he should read it or not. It was Lucy's letter, but then again, it had his name on it so doesn't that mean that it was technically his? Ugh! He started to scratch at his head in frustration. He wanted to read it, but he wasn't sure if he had the right to. After a while of debating, he realized that even if he did put the letter back, his own curiosity would have forced him to read it anyways. This was an aspect of Lucy that he was holding in his hand. Her writing was there, her feelings, her thoughts; he wanted to see it all. Careful not to rip the envelope, he slowly pried it open. The papers inside were nicely folded and neat, and as he unfolded the paper, he marveled at how clean Lucy's handwriting was in contrast to his messy scribble. Initially, he was afraid to read it, but his eyes eventually started to scan the paper and began reading.

_Natsu, you're an idiot_ was the first thing written at the top.

Well...that wasn't a nice thing to say. It wasn't too late to turn back, but he decided to start over, and reread her letter.

_Natsu, you're an idiot._

_Today, you ended up saving me again and I can't help but feel weak and useless because of it. I hate seeing you get hurt because of me. I trust you more than anyone to make it out okay, but what if one of these days something happens and you don't come back. I would never be able to forgive myself if you died. Just thinking about not having you around makes me feel scared, and I can feel the tears slowly swelling up against my eyes. I wish I was stronger so I wouldn't have to rely on you so much, but I always feel safe with you around so I don't mind it as much as I did before. These days it seems as though we've gotten closer since the first time we've met in Hargeon. Do you remember that day? It's a day that I refuse to ever forget. You showed me so much kindness that day and even led me to Fairy Tail, a place that I now call home. Before, I never knew the true meaning of nakama but you managed to show me, a girl you met on the street, something so amazing. I was always running away from something. Always. Whether it be my father or something I didn't like, I never once faced it, until I met you. It was became of you that I learned what standing up for yourself is. I learned to tackle my fears head on, instead of running away like I used to._

_As each day passes by, we spend more time together and I can't help but feel fuzzy and weird whenever you do something small. Things like touching my hand to get my attention, or wrapping your arm around my shoulder to greet me, or something simple like smiling is getting me flustered. You really are an idiot aren't you? Not even noticing how much I worry and care about you. I want to say it one day, but not now. I want to say it when the time is right. I want to say it when the both of us are alone together. I want to say it without caring about whether you feel the same way or not. But most of all, I don't want to not say it. Because I never want these feelings to go to waste. They are more than just words. They're something I feel whenever I'm around you, and even though everyone can see it, you're the only one that can't. But I guess that's my fault for falling in love with the densest person in all of Fiore right? But one day, I'll have the courage to say it to you directly and I hope that by that day, you would have learned to love me the same way I have learned to love you._

_Sincerly yours,_

_Lucky Lucy_

Natsu gripped the letter tightly. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to leave. He didn't want to stay in her apartment out of fear of ruining it. He jumped out of her window not caring if Happy saw him or not and started his way down the street. With his keen ear, he could hear Happy yelling out his name but he knew better than to turn back towards Happy when he was like this. He followed wherever his legs would take him, and he kept running and running, not caring where he was going to end up. His vision was starting to blur, but he continued to keep going. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Natsu's breath was heavy. He was panting. He looked down to his hands and saw that they were bloodied up with scratches and discolored with bruises. He had managed to run far into a nearby forest on the outskirts of Magnolia. Looking around him, he inspected the damage he had caused. There were broken trees, everywhere. They were all fallen around him, some were still standing but he could see the missing bark that left the trees looking bare. Around him laid a graveyard of broken branches. He fell to his knees and touched his hands, slowing picking at the splinters that he gave himself. If Lucy was here, she would've calmed him down. And even if he did manage to tear down this forest, Lucy would've been waiting with bandages in hand, fixing him up before leading him to Wendy to heal. She always had a way with him. Her very touch could calm his nerves yet send shivers up his spine, and her voice would always find a way to make all those bad thoughts go away. But why did it matter anymore? Lucy was gone, yet he continued to think about her, knowing that she might never be back. Slowly he fell to the ground and reached out for the letter he had dropped earlier before attacking the forest. Why did it have to be her? Of all people, why did she have to be the one frozen into a lacrima? There were so many terrible people out in the world, yet fate chose the most kind and innocent soul it could and locked her away from him. As the tears start to drop, he felt something cold hit his skin and he looked up towards the sky. It was the first snowfall since winter started. Lucy always hated the cold but she always loved the beauty of the snow. It was something he always thought was strange but never questioned. She wasn't exactly a normal person after all, but he liked that about her.

He sat there, staring at the snow that was slowly making its way to the ground, thinking of her. He wished that he could have told her how he felt but he knew that she couldn't hear it. He wanted to tell her that somehow, somewhere along the lines of becoming friends with her, becoming partners with her, and becoming the person she trusted to protect her, he had fallen for her so deeply, it was like being sucked into a black hole where there was no light and no sound. He felt his brain fall apart, turning into nothingness. There was so much that he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't. He wanted to tell her everything because he couldn't stand the fact that there were so many words he had inside of him that could not be said or told. These words weren't meant to be kept inside. They were meant to be said.

She didn't belong in that damn cave. She belonged with Fairy Tail, with her friends, with him. At this moment the two of them should be sleeping together in her bed with their distance far enough to not have to touch but close enough so that her body heat keeps him warm, so that the beating of her heart keeps him calm, and the rhythm of her breath lulls him to sleep like a wordless lullaby. He misses those nights when it was just him and her together. It was fun during the day when they were surrounded by their guildmates but the moment that they share alone in that room in silence while they sleep is something he never thought he would have to give up. It was something he looked forward to every night; to be close to Lucy, just him and her alone.

He swiftly wiped off his tears. Holding his hands towards his face, his pried out the large splinters with his teeth and licked off his blood. Unraveling the letter, he carefully folded it neatly into a small square and placed it into his pocket. He got up to his feet and started to head towards the cavern. He had just visited her earlier that day but he couldn't help it. He was sure that if he didn't see her right now, he was going to go insane. He slightly laughed to himself as he walked. This was just as bad as the day he lost her.

* * *

"LUCY!" Natsu screamed out as he scrambled to his feet.

He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He had to be hallucinating. There was no way in hell that this was happening. Lucy wouldn't do something like this. She would never leave him like this. She wouldn't. Couldn't. So why is he seeing this? Was it a nightmare? Was it some kind of illusion? A trick? He could hear himself praying; praying that this was just a work of a magic; that the real enemy was just trying to distract him. But as he inched closer to her, he knew. He knew that this was no trick, it was reality; a reality that was more like a hell. He touched the lacrima, and as he felt its smooth yet cold exterior, he knew that he wasn't dreaming. Lucy was enclosed inside, trapped for God knows how long. At first he felt denial but then he could feel the anger boil inside of him. He had to get her out. She was probably scared and confused inside, and he needed to keep her safe. He ignited his arm with is fire but before he could land an explosive blow, he toppled backwards.

He looked up to see Gray's ice. The force of it's creation must have pushed him downwards. Why was Gray doing this? Didn't he want to get Lucy out as much as he did? Natsu picked himself up and lunged towards Gray.

"What the hell was that for?!" Natsu yelled.

"Are you an idiot?!" Gray yelled back.

"Don't you want to get her out? Can't you see she's stuck in there?" How dare Gray stop him from saving his partner. Who does he think he is? Couldn't he tell that she was in danger?

"I know what I saw but-" Before Gray could finish is sentence, Natsu grabbed him by the collar and held back his fist before finishing the punch. Gray could see it, the determination in Natsu's eyes. He could see that Natsu cared for Lucy, but Natsu couldn't see that Gray cared for Lucy too. After all, Lucy was also his friend. He relied on her and cared for her also, but he knew that Natsu saw Lucy differently, and that was why he reacted the way he did.

At that very moment, Erza grabbed Natsu's arm to keep him from hitting Gray.

"Gray was trying to protect Lucy," Erza said, looking deeply into Natsu's eyes. He let go of Gray's collar, and relaxed his composure.

"What do you mean?" he asked Erza.

"I know you were trying to free her with your fire Natsu, but that's dangerous. You could have hurt her."

"Gray was only trying to prevent that from happening," Happy interjected.

"So we're just going to sit here and do nothing?!" he yelled. Gray had never seen Natsu like this. Natsu would never go against Erza let alone yelled at her. But he was surprised that Erza was treating Natsu with such gentleness instead of with the brute force she usually uses.

"We're not going to risk our friend's life because of your impulse, Natsu," Erza said sternly. "We'll go back to the guild and ask Polyusica as well as Master to see if they could do anything."

Although he was reluctant and hesitant, Natsu agreed.

And so it was decided that they would ask for the aid of Polyusica and the guild master. Natsu vouched to stay behind to watch over Lucy. He was afraid that she might ended up freeing herself while they were gone and he didn't want to leave her by herself. And so he waited and waited for his teammates to arrive with the master and Polyusica. It took another day for them to arrive, but he had waited patiently. He didn't have much to eat, but food wasn't on his mind. He just wanted Lucy to be free from the lacrima. When he heard the footsteps of his comrades, he quickly approached them. He was surprised that Polyusica wasn't with them, but only Makarov.

"Old man," Natsu greeted.

"Save your breath, Natsu," Makarov held up his hand. "Erza and Gray explained everything to me already. I just need to see this for myself."

As the master approach the large lacrima, Natsu felt himself getting anxious. Makarov took a moment to observe and look keenly into the lacrima. Every now and then he would nod his head as though he figured out something and every now and then he would also sway his head from side to side. Finally, after what felt like an eternity to Natsu, Makarov opened his mouth to speak.

"Unfortunately," he started, "there's nothing we can do."

"What?" asked Natsu. He was in shock. If the guild master didn't know what to do, who did?

"You have to understand that this isn't a normal lacrima. It's not feeding off Lucy's magical energy at all, yet I still don't feel any life force coming from her."

"You mean she's de-" Erza started to say.

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT!" Natsu yelled. "Don't you dare say that she's dead."

His eyes gave off a piercing glare that made even Erza take a step back. And for a moment they all stood in silence until she noticed Natsu's face soften.

"Please," Natsu began again, "please don't say she's dead because she can't be." Natsu was on his knees now, bowing his head towards Makarov. "I beg you. Please save her. I'll do anything."

"I'm sorry," the guild master apologized. "But there's nothing I can do without hurting Lucy in the process."

Those words pierced through Natsu like bladed arrow. He was feeling pain he never felt before. It was similar to the day he lost Igneel but different in a sense. He had hope that he could find Igneel one day but with Lucy, he wasn't given that hope, especially when the master said that she could be dead already. The pain he felt in his chest was worse than any wound he ever got from a fight. He got his ribs, arms, and practically every bone in his body broken at least once, and although it hurt, it was nothing compared to what he was feeling right now. Why did it have to be Lucy out of all people? Why did it have to be someone he held so dear and close to his heart?

* * *

Natsu paused for a moment as he was walking on road leading to the cave. He remembered that day so well yet he didn't even remember what he had for breakfast. He remembered how Erza had to knock him out because he refused to leave the cavern without Lucy. He remembered the look on everyone's faces when they found out about Lucy. Everyone cried so much over her. He remembered the anger he felt when he saw that everyone was moving on but he was still stuck in the past. How could they be so happy when Lucy wasn't around? For a while it made him furious whenever others were smiling while he was stuck in a miserable rut. He took it upon himself to go on missions and jobs to keep himself busy. But for a while it just made him feel worse because it was a constant reminder that Lucy wasn't there. Every once in a while he would turn around to tell her to hurry up but as he turned his head, her absence would remind him of what had happened.

Natsu continued with his journey, making his way towards the cavern he visited earlier. He knew that by the time he reached it, he would be exhausted, but he didn't care. All these words that was built in him had to be said. If not, then he mind as well explode. He was determined to tell Lucy everything even if she couldn't hear him because he no longer wanted to keep them inside. He looked towards the horizon, and seeing the light peeking out from it, he knew it was already the next morning. Not bothering to take a rest, he walked on.


	4. A First Attempt

It's been a while since my last update haha well, here's the next one. It's a little more fast paced compared the last chapters but I hope you guys enjoy it anyways. The lacrima situation will be even further explained in the next few chapters.

* * *

Natsu sighed in triumph as he inched towards the town of his destination. It wasn't much of a town anymore. After the incident that occurred with Lucy, the townspeople were forced to evacuate out of fear that it would happen to someone else. The once lively streets were darken with silence and it was as though all the color had been sucked out of it. There was no people or animals or life for all that matter within its perimeters. Nothing but the sound of the winter winds passed through. Natsu breathed out, seeing his breath fog against the cold. From a distance, he could see the cave and he picked up his pace and ran towards it. He was so close now. So incredibly close.

There was that sense of repetition as he entered, the same one that he always felt when he came. He couldn't even count how many times he's been inside this cave, only that he came for one reason and one reason only, for Lucy. But this time it was different. This time he wasn't coming to just see her and sit around for hours, watching silently at her frozen figure. This time he was going to let go everything. He was going to pour out every bit of his soul into words for her and even if she couldn't hear him, at least he didn't stay silent. Lucy had done the same by writing a letter addressed to him. Granted, she did not give it to him and he pried it from her bed, but still it was evidence that she loved him and that was all that mattered. He wanted to somehow reciprocate those feelings for her.

He was nearing the cavern when he sensed something different. It hit him like a shock wave worse than Laxus's. He couldn't believe it. There was something overwhelming him to the point that he could have imploded right then and there. Lucy's scent. Her scent, it was reaching him and as soon as he inhaled it inwards he started to run frantically. He had once said that he got energy by borrowing "tomorrow's energy" but at this point he was sure he was borrowing the "next month's energy". He had walked for miles since last night and somehow Lucy's scent had sent a wave of energy into him. For months, he had gone without her scent and now it was everywhere, it was getting stronger the closer he got. Could it be? Could Lucy really be free? He didn't know how to pinpoint his feelings right now. He was anxious, nervous, scared, excited, and happy all at the same time. The cavern entrance was nearing and as took a step into it, he felt an overwhelming sense of joy.

There was Lucy. Sitting on the floor of the cavern looking so keenly and curiously at where she was that she didn't even notice him as he entered.

"Lucy!" He yelled out her name excitedly. Lucy turned her head around and smiled at him.

"Natsu," she greeted him barely above a whisper. She picked herself up and dusted herself off.

Without thinking about the need for words, Natsu ran towards her and encased her in his arms. They stood like that for a moment until out of nowhere within a split second, Lucy forcibly pushed Natsu away. There was a silence between them for a moment that seemed like an eternity. Natsu couldn't believe what had happened. Lucy never minded whenever he touched her before so why was she so withdrawn all of a sudden? Was it wrong for him embrace his partner, the girl he loved, after half a year of not being able to touch her?

"I'm so sorry, Natsu," Lucy said meekly. She wasn't looking at him, but was staring at the ground.

Lucy was equally bewildered at what happened. Her body acted out on its own instincts. Here was Natsu, a boy that she trusted with her life, and she pushed him away like a stranger on the streets. It was true then. All those events before really happened. She got stuck in that lacrima and she got out by giving the most important thing up. She gave up her feelings for Natsu for a chance to see him again. She really was pathetic.

* * *

Natsu didn't say anything on the way back to the guild and neither did Lucy. He did not account for any of this to happen. Of course, he was ecstatic that she had come back but those things he was going to confess to her seemed to have flew right out the window right after she pushed him away. There was something off about Lucy. He felt her next to him but not all of her as though a piece of her was missing. He simply decided to brush it off as his own imagination. When they arrived at the guild, it was already late in the night. The reunion was filled with lots of tears, happiness, and hugging. Natsu was surprised that Juvia flooded the place with tears of joy and the moment that Lucy and him spent together dispersed as the guild members surrounded Lucy.

To his surprised was the fact that Polyusica was there. She did not often come to the guild on her own free will and instead usually came when the guild members begged her. Natsu swore that the old lady had a little something something for the old guild master. She must have been here to check on Makarov's condition. Lately, he has gotten a little sicker due to his old age but he always managed to pull through in the end. Natsu sat himself in the corner and watched silently as Lucy was flocked by her friends. It was then that Polyusica placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped a bit since it surprised him. In truth, his senses were all so focused on Lucy, a flying boulder could have come hurling towards his head and he wouldn't even know.

"Come with me," Polyusica said sternly. "I need to speak with you about the girl."

Natsu would have much rather sit around and watch over Lucy some more but the look the elderly woman was giving him was actually really intimidating. Sheesh, where did all these old people get the energy to be so scary? Polyusica brought him to the second floor into Master Makarov's office. He was already sitting at his desk as though he was waiting for him. As the two enetered, she closed off the door so that no one can impede onto their conversation. The three of them sat together at a desk and she poured them each a cup of hot tea before speaking again.

"Boy," Polyusica addressed Natsu. "I need you to tell me each and every detail about the events the ran up to the incident, the events in between, and how the heck Lucy got herself out."

"Why?" Natsu questioned. "She's out and that's all that matters right?"

"Son," Master Makarov started. "I've been inside that cavern and there was something off about that lacrima. When I told Polyusica about it she said that she wanted to hear it directly from you so she could get every detail of the situation. I'm happy that Lucy was able to get herself out, but my assessment was that if she was freed, it would hurt her in the process and Polyusica can confirm this."

"Wait," Natsu questioned. "You're saying Lucy's hurt? But she looks fine to me."

"Shut it!" Polyusica interjected, "and just tell me what happened. And don't you dare leave out a single detail." She gave off such a threatening glare that it could probably match Erza's.

Natsu gulped. He didn't wanted to share everything with this old woman. There were lots of intimate things that he would definitely like to leave out, like the fact that he held hands with Lucy or the fact that he slept in her bed while she was gone, or the anything about the letter Lucy wrote. Thinking of it made Natsu's face burn a little crimson.

"When I say every detail, I mean every detail."

Was this woman psychic too?! Natsu took a deep breath before beginning. He decided to start off on the morning of that terrible mission and he continued to talk up to the moment he entered the guild this night. He told Polyusica anything he could think of, careful not to lie or mix his words. By the time he was done, he felt exhausted from the lack of sleep and the fact that it had become extremely late. The once boisterous noise that the members of the guild left off had turned to silence and he had concluded that the guild members must have gone home. Lucy and Happy must have been waiting on the bottom level for him and he was looking forward to spending some time alone with her pushing the earlier incident from this morning to the back of his mind. Just then Polyusica let out a deep sigh.

"It's just as I suspected." she stated. "The moment that girl walked through those guild doors, I knew something was wrong, but I had to confirm it with your story."

"Wait," Natsu started to say. His eyes were full of worry. "Are you saying something's wrong with Lucy?"

"The lacrimas that were in the cave were normal lacrimas to begin with. It's the larger one that worries me. I think that maybe it was inhabited by some kind of force that fed off of magical energy which explains the loss of energy when you kids entered the cave. Lucy, being a celestial mage, has the ability to communicate with beings across the borders of the human plane. She might have come in contact with this so called force and was lured into the lacrima which fed off her energy. In order to escape she had to substitute her magical energy with something of equal value."

"Equal value?" Natsu asked. He wasn't exactly sure what Polyusica mean by it.

"Lucy is a smart girl. She must have managed to figure it out in the end, the one thing that can match magical energy is human emotions. Human emotions powers all magic whether it be bad or good. She gave up a very large chunk of emotion. Since the most powerful form of human emotion is love, she must have given up her feelings for a certain someone. I felt it. There was a piece of her heart missing. It's not necessarily something that's dangerous but it could end up weakening her magic in the end."

"You're kidding right?" Natsu questioned.

There was no way this could be happening. Although he didn't mention the letter to Polyusica, he felt as though Polyusica already knew about Lucy's feelings. He felt his blood rising and pumping all through his veins. There's no way this could happen. He got up and left the room before Polyusica or Makarov could say anything to stop him. As he brought himself down to the bottom floor he was hoping, praying that Lucy was there waiting for him but was brought disappointment when the only person who was waiting for him was Happy. She had always waited for him, but even that aspect of her had seem to disappear along with a piece of her heart. But he wasn't going to give up yet, he wanted to be absolutely sure about what Polyusica had just told him.

"Natsu," Happy chimed. "What took you so long?"

"Sorry," Natsu smiled. "The old people kept on wanting to talk. Let's go to Lucy's!"

"Yay! Sleepover! Just like old times right?"

"Yeah," Natsu said sadly.

He approached the street that Lucy lived on. It was quiet in the night without a single sound. The lights to Lucy's apartments were off which meant she was already sleeping, making it the perfect time to sneak in. And to be honest, Natsu was exhausted from the lack of sleep of the previous night and the thought of sleeping next to Lucy made him extremely happy. He wasn't exactly sure if he could even fall asleep tonight with her next to him. Being away from her for so long and then suddenly having her back might be something he would have to get used to. But he was glad that her apartment will soon be filled with her scent and things will go back to normal. He scaled the walls of her apartment building and reached to pry the window open. To his surprise, the window didn't budge and Lucy never locks her windows. She always complained about him invading her apartment and sleeping in her bed but in truth she always kept the windows unlocked like an unstated invitation for him to come in with her. But this time, the windows were locked tightly shut and it was then that Natsu knew that everything Polyusica said was true.

"Are we not having a sleepover?" asked a disappointed Happy.

"I guess not," Natsu replied back sadly.

There were no words to explain what he was feeling. Lucy was finally back and when he thought that they will become even closer than before, she drew farther apart from him. It was like being in the middle of a dry desert with water within your reach but you could never taste it. Lucy was so close to him, just beyond this wall, yet her heart had somehow become so distant from his. He jumped down from the window and walked down the path towards his own house.

Lucy was crying in her bed. She didn't expect for things to turn out the way it did. When she was in the lacrima she tried everything to get out. It took her a while to figure out that she could free herself by substituting her magical energy with another source. She gave up a piece of her heart not knowing which piece it was going to be. She was desperate, extremely desperate. Inside the lacrima she had lost track of her sense of time. She couldn't tell if she had been trapped for weeks or years. All she knew was that she wanted to see Natsu so badly. She wanted to see all her guild mates but Natsu was different. She wanted to see him more than anyone. She wanted to see that smile of his that gave her so much strength and hope that she was willing to do anything. Ironically, the piece that the lacrima took was the piece that held all her feelings for Natsu. When she escaped, Natsu right there. When he came to embrace her she wanted to embrace him back but something in her mind made if feel wrong and she instinctively pushed him away. She saw the hurt in his eyes when she did this, but she didn't know what to do. The once flutterly feeling she got from being with him was now long gone and now her heart didn't beat any faster for him than it did for anyone.

She looked towards her window, unsure if Natsu had come to visit her or not. She locked it for good measure. In her mind, it felt weird to have him sleep with her like he used to. Back then, she felt at peace with him laying next to her. He always made her feel safe with his presence and she knew that as long as Natsu was around, she would be okay. His body heat always helped her sleep comfortably and every once in a while they would inch closer and touch, sending heat waves into her body. But somehow, those feelings are starting to feel so foreign and strange to her. She clutched her chest. She never wanted this to happen. She just wanted to see Natsu again and this was how it turned out in the end. The friendship they had that made them so close before now became so distant. The warmth that once lingered on the bed from Natsu had been replaced with the cold of being alone.

Natsu laid in his hammock thinking of Lucy. Even though he hasn't slept for so long, he was wide awake, holding onto the letter Lucy had wrote close to his chest. By now, he had confirmed four different things.

He really has fallen for the celestial mage. The fact that she found his presence uninviting made him want to throw himself off a cliff.

Lucy had fallen out of love with him right after he found out about her feelings for him.

What's harder than making someone fall in love with you? Making them fall for you the second time.

And lastly, he was determined to make her fall desperately in love with him just as he has fallen desperately in love with her.

With that final thought, he closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep.

The next day was an interesting one. He had prepared everything. Being friends with her for over two years had given him the advantage of seeing what Lucy liked in a guy, that and the fact that Lucy mutters to herself whenever she points out what she does and doesn't like in a guy. Adding that to his heightened sense of hearing gave him an amazing advantage. Or so he thought. He knew that Lucy was really, really, really into the whole hopeless romance shit that would make him throw up, but for Lucy, he figured it wouldn't be so bad to try. He figured the ends would justify the means. He would act like freaking pansy from one of those Shakespeare's play and Lucy would jump into his arms proclaiming her everlasting love for him. Oh yeah, the ends definitely justifies the means. So early in the morning, he rushed to the store and bought a bunch of flowers, chocolate, a stupid teddy bear, and the first book he found at the bookstore. Natsu was no expert on gift buying so he bought whatever object his eyes managed to find. After all, how could one possibly get flowers, chocolate, teddy bears, and books wrong, right? And to top it all off, he even steamed down his hair so it would lay flatter and not look so unruly. His usual clothes was replaced with something a bit more pansy-ish, a black button-up and some slacks. Before entering the guild, he smiled triumphantly to himself. There was no way Lucy could resist everything he put his effort into.

When he entered the guild, he didn't see Lucy, but as usual Gray decided to initiate the fight.

"Yo! Flamehead wanna-WHOAH!" Gray stopped mid-sentence. "What pansy threw up on you? You look like one of those Blue Pegasus people."

Then he proceeded to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. And laugh some more. Gray's laughing ended up garnering the attention of the rest of the guild and when they laid eyes on Natsu they did the exact same thing. Laugh. The only person who wasn't laughing was Mirajane, but that was only because she was too busy cooing on how romantic he looked. And the only reason why Natsu wasn't punching out Gray was because he a.) holding a bunch of shit in his hands and b.) was going to show Lucy that he had self-control. The laughing somehow turned into a fight that for once Natsu wasn't initiating and as everyone was busy with trying to beat each other up, Lucy walked in with Levy, both holding coffee cups in their hands.

"Good morning, Natsu!" Lucy said cheerfully.

Although her smile was genuine, Natsu couldn't help but notice the circles around her eyes and a small tinge of redness her usual warm brown eyes was giving off. Had she been crying? His thoughts was interrupted when Levy asked him why he was carrying all this stuff in which he said that it was "all for his dear, precious Lucy". Yeah, he was totally smooth with that one. Imitating those Blue Pegasus guys would definitely earn him some points. Of course, as soon as Lucy heard this she promptly spat out her coffee in surprise and looked up at him with those giant round cow eyes of hers.

"You're acting weird today," she stated.

"I'm weird? You're weird!" he stated back. "I decided to do something nice and all you decide to call me weird? Sheesh.."

With that, he led Lucy and Levy to a table that hasn't been broken by the fight yet. Noticing the three, Mirajane decided to hover over that table as well and as soon as Mirajane came, it was like a freaking migration of Fairy Tail members because soon practically everyone was surrounding the table. Gray, Juvia, Gajeel, and Cana were the first few to surround them. And soon, Natsu also noticed the presence of Elfman, Lisanna, the Raijinshu tribe along with Laxus, the two old men, Macao and Wakaba, and the two pipsqueaks, Wendy and Romeo. All of them were looking directly at Lucy and Natsu and Natsu couldn't help but feel a little nervous over the whole ordeal. He awkwardly slid all his gifts on the table over to Lucy who thankfully actually looked kind of happy about it. Not to mention, she was blushing just slightly which made Natsu extremely giddy. And it all ended up going downhill from there.

Firstly, he bought her flowers which was the first thing Lucy started to examine. She held on to it delicately and took in its nice scent. But within a five second time span a bee flew out and stung her on her cheek, prompting Mirajane to get something to help with the swelling redness. Natsu started to apologize quickly in which Lucy assured that it was alright and that it wasn't his fault the bee was hiding in there. The rest of the guild only snickered at Natsu's current progress. Next, Lucy started to open the package of chocolate and as soon as she took one piece in her mouth she started coughing like a smoker, resulting in Natsu apologizing again. After the coughing died down, he looked at the packaging and realized that he had bought her chocolate that was filled with strong alcohol. And seeing that it was alcohol, Cana quickly swiped the chocolate and she downed it down like another barrel of beer. At this point, the guild had started to chuckle lightly but a bit louder than before. Natsu knew that his first two gifts ended in a disaster but he figured his last two couldn't go possibly wrong. The teddy bear and the book were way too straight forward and they weren't filled with alcohol or stinging bees either. So when Lucy started to hug the bear, exclaiming how soft it was, he smiled at himself in triumph. Finally something went right or at least he thought.

"Hm?" asked Lucy. "What's this?"

She had picked up the left foot of the teddy bear and starting reading the embroidered lettering that was sewn onto it.

"To my dearest daughter," she read out.

With that, a few of the guild members started to laugh a bit more obviously. This wouldn't be half as bad if Lucy's father wasn't dead but Natsu still felt bad anyways. It was like a sack of bricks fell on him. Even the teddy bear went wrong. He got one that a father was supposed to get for her daughter. How could he have been so stupid as to not pay attention to the lettering? Noticing Natsu's anguish, Lucy put her hand on his shoulder and told him that it was okay. She smiled that wonderful smile of hers. The one that could make all the bad things in the world go away. Lucy then reached out her hand and started to ruffle his hair so it could go back to its once spiky mess. It was way softer than she imagined. She figured his spiky hair would feel course but it was so much softer. What kind of conditioner does this guy use? Natsu blushed slightly at this action and was a little disappointed when Lucy led her hand away.

"I like it better this way," she smiled at him again.

So maybe this whole gift-giving thing wasn't so bad. And plus, he had gotten her a book and Lucy loves books. She reads all kinds of books so he figured whatever he got her, she would definitely be interested in. When Lucy turned the book over to read the title he imagined her oozing happiness from every opening in her body so he wasn't ready when her face ended up being as red as a tomato. The guild then burst into a giant fit of laughter. Some were sprawled on the ground clutching their stomachs. Some started laughing so hysterically, their magic started to project itself uncontrollably.

"I can't believe he got her that," he heard a guild member say. This made Natsu extremely curious. What book did he get her anyways?

He reached out towards the book in Lucy's hands. He swore her face had gotten even redder. He turned the book downwards a bit so the view of it's title was in sight. And there, in big bold capitalized letters was the words: KUMA SUTRA.

"What's kuma sutra?" Natsu asked. This question ended up bringing another wave of laughter from the guild, which prompted Natsu to leave the place out of frustration.

As he walked, he realized that he unconsciously brought himself to Lucy's apartment and ended up having to turn around to go towards his own house. Soooooo, his first attempt at winning Lucy's heart over didn't go exactly as plan. That image of her jumping into his arms with her love proclamation was already shattered into a million pieces and was probably blowing away in the winter wind above his head. He did find out one thing though. Lucy likes his appearance the way it is. She didn't seem to care that his hair was always a mess or that he had an unusual way of dressing. But despite that somewhat good outcome, he confirmed to himself that getting Lucy to love him again was going to be way harder than he thought it would be.


	5. Mistletoe

I think this might be the last relief chapter...before things get depressing...in the next ones.

* * *

It had been weeks since Lucy had gotten back and since then, they have gone on several missions together. Natsu carefully chose each one, finding the ones that were the most dangerous. It was kind of terrible that he actually kind of half-heartedly hoped that Lucy got kidnapped, but only because he wanted to jump in and save her of course. He really should start seeing a psychologist about his way of thinking. Of course, his luck hasn't been flying these days and in the end, it was Lucy who often had to come assist him. But that was only because the first mission was on a boat and the last few missions, he became exhausted until Lucy managed to conjure up some fire for him with the help of her spirits. After a while, Lucy got tired and suggested the idea that they take a break since the holidays were coming up in which Natsu agreed. After all, the holiday meant one thing and that was FOOD. And who doesn't love a good feast?

And from that moment on there was three things on Natsu's mind: food, sleep, and Lucy. The latter being the harder one to get to and he figured that while he was taking a break from all the fighting, he mind as well think of a way to win Lucy over. It was at that moment of pondering at the Fairy Tail bar, fire whiskey in hand, that Mirajane started hanging those plants on the ceiling again. She does this every year and every year Natsu chose to ignore it. But while he was a little tipsy from the whiskey, he finally decided to put an end to the puzzling reason as to why Mira always hung those ugly things on the ceiling.

"Mira, what the heck are those?" he asked.

Mira's eyes lit up in delight. Every year since Lucy first appeared at the guild, she had tried to explain to Natsu what these plants were. Of course, he would choose to ignore her and run off somewhere, dragging his partner off. But this year it was different. Natsu was actually interested in them.

"Oh, these are mistletoes," Mirajane answered.

"Sounds kind of stupid...missle toeeee" Natsu snickered.

"It's not stupid," Mira whined. "It's romantic."

"Romantic? How is this ugly plant romantic?"

"Well, if two people are under them, they have to kiss."

"Wait," Natsu started to say. This was it. This was the idea he was waiting for and Mira handed it to him on a silver platter. "They have to kiss?"

"Well, yeah, according to tradition."

It was as if Christmas was already here in Natsu's head. Fireworks were going off everywhere and he figured that he should use these so called mistletoe to his advantage.

"Do you need any help there?" he asked Mira.

Mira agreed to his offer and he grabbed a bunch of mistletoe from the box that held them from behind the bar counter and ran off to hang them onto the ceiling. Now although Natsu was often seen as dumb and oblivious, he was actually surprisingly very cautious of his surroundings. After all, he knew that Lucy was a girl of habit and there were things he noticed about her that the average joe wouldn't pay attention to.

For one thing, Lucy arrived to the guild at the same time every morning. She sat in the same chair at the bar every time and generally sat at the same table as well. As he climbed on top of a stool to hang the mistletoe onto the bars of the ceiling, he didn't account for the amount of alcohol in his system until his head started to spin which quickly resulted in him falling to the floor in defeat. He should have chosen a different day to get drunk off of fire whiskey.

"Natsu!" Mirajane whined. "I thought you were going to help me!"

When there was no reply coming out of the dragon slayer, Mirajane realized that he had passed out. Smiling at his sleeping form, she went to the closet in the back of the guild and grabbed a blanket. Luckily, Natsu had chosen a spot off to the side to fall asleep on and she quickly unfolded the blanket and placed it on him, leaving him to dream and continued with her earlier task of putting up the mistletoe. Although she did this every year, it seemed as though none of the guild members ever took the kissing tradition seriously. And so, every year Mirajane was left disappointed without the prospect of future guild babies. It was such a terrible predicament in which she always found herself in. Was it really that hard for Levy and Gajeel to have a baby? Juvia and Gray also need to have babies. Elfman and Evergreen better have a baby. Why can't Natsu and Lucy have a baby already? In her mind, dating and courting doesn't exist. It's confession then babies. She sighed to herself as she hung up another mistletoe. Maybe she should just unleash her inner demon on them.

As Mira pondered on the prospect of possibly beating her fellow guild members into following the mistletoe tradition, she heard the guild doors spring open with Lucy coming in. Despite the freezing temperature, she was only wearing a mini skirt and a light jacket. Inside her hands was a large envelope probably containing the latest chapter of her novel for Levy to read. As Lucy crossed through the guild in order she get to where Levy was sitting (suspiciously) with Gajeel, she happened to bump into Gray who was on his way out in an effort to avoid Juvia.

"Excuse me," he quickly greeted her as he tried to step out of the way.

"Sorry," Lucy apologized to the ice mage.

Neither of them were paying attention to it, but hovering just above their heads was a mistletoe. They both dismissed the plant as a mere decoration and tried to head towards their own separate destination. And that was when the guild heard it. It was a small snapping noise and it was quick like a flash of lightening. There was a sense of shock in the air and no one realized it at the moment just yet but Mirajane had snapped. For once why couldn't the guild members just obey the mistletoe tradition? After all, she worked day in and day out serving everyone whatever they asked for without a single complaint and during this time of year when she could indulge in her hobby of matchmaking, why must everyone ignore her efforts? Would they, just for once, satisfy her need to see romance before her eyes?

"Gray...Lucy..." Mirajane dragged out their names. Although her face was as cheerful as always, the tone in her voice suggested that she wanted to strangle them. "Do you guys realize that you're standing under a mistletoe?"

"So?" Gray defied. He was in a rush. He could feel Juvia's presence come closer than ever and if she caught Lucy and him under the mistletoe together, he wouldn't know whether she would come after him or Lucy first.

"KISS HER!" Mira cried out.

"What?!" Lucy blushed. Her face was crimson. There was no way she was going to kiss Gray. Gray was an important person to her. He was her friend. He was the brother she never had. He protected and supported her. He was so many things to her but he was absolutely not the person she wanted to kiss or be kissed by.

"No way," Gray continued.

"Are you certain you want to defy a demon?" Mirajane started to bluff with an evil glint in her eyes. She started her takeover magic and as the magic squares shifted her appearance, she could see the fear in both Lucy's and Gray's eyes. She wasn't planning on doing anything to them. She just wanted to scare them into obeying the tradition. At this point, both Lucy and Gray were near tears in fear as Mirajane's Satan Soul appeared before them, catching the attention of all those in the guild.

"Alright! Alright!" Lucy gave in. "It's just a small kiss right?" Her voice was shaky as she looked towards Mirajane for approval.

When the takeover mage nodded, Lucy clutched onto Gray's sleeve and leaned towards him. She had kissed her father and mother before and this will be no different. Gray was like family and this kiss will just be like a family kiss. Oh geez, she could feel her face heating up even more. The kiss was quick. It was just a peck on the cheek and although there was no romantic feelings behind it, Lucy couldn't help but blush afterwards as the guild members started to whistle and cheer out. Gray was blushing also. He didn't exactly wanted to be kissed by Lucy and he felt a little bad that Natsu wasn't the one she kissed. He had always been well aware of Natsu's feelings for Lucy and although he didn't show it, he supported the idiot one hundred percent. Both of them were so distracted at what happened that neither of them noticed Juvia watching behind a pillar or Mirajane laying on the ground, fainted from the sight of a mere peck on the cheek.

"Lucy..." Juvia called out in a low tone. The pillar that Juvia held onto started to crack under the pressure of her hand. She then launched herself at Lucy, resulting in a game of cat and mouse around and eventually out of the guild. And despite the large amount of noise, Natsu continued to sleep off the alcohol for the rest of the day while Lucy spent hers hiding from a certain lovesick water mage.

* * *

After the mistletoe incident at the guild, everyone was too afraid to not follow in the kissing tradition. Seeing Mira in her satan soul form scared the wits out of everybody and in order to avoid a terrible demise, the guild members decided to finally obey the mistletoe kiss. However, it didn't stop them from trying their best to avoid these deadly plants which turned out to be super hard. No one really knew how Mira managed to get so many that the guild ceiling started to look like a botany class experiment gone wrong. And the problem with their plan in trying to avoid these plants was that the more they tried to avoid them, the more she would try to hang up. At one point in time, the old friends Macao and Wacaba accidentally found themselves under these pesky plant and Mira didn't even waste a breath on glaring at them. The look in her eye alone scared them and to their disgust, they eventually did kiss each other out of fear, becoming the laughingstock at the guild for a full two weeks, beating Natsu's gift mishap with Lucy.

And speaking of Natsu, today was the day that he decided to get Lucy to kiss him. He figured it was going to be easy enough, after all, there were mistletoe plants everywhere at the guild and Lucy and him were bound to find themselves under one. However, the big problem was trying to avoid getting under one with anyone other than Lucy. Once, he and gajeel started a fight but before he threw a flaming punch at Gajeel, they both realized that they were under one of those plants. Thank goodness, Mira had excused herself to the ladies room at that time because there was absolutely no way he was going to kiss, as Natsu himself puts it, the iron idiot.

The guild doors swung open as he invited himself in. Looking around, he quickly spotted the celestial wizard in the corner of the guild reading a book like usual. She was alone and was (thankfully) sitting right under the mistletoe he had placed there a few weeks ago. She hummed to herself lightly as she flipped towards the next page. A smile emerged on her face as her eyes scanned the words in her book. She seemed to be really enjoying the novel. Natsu found himself walking towards her. His face lit up in excitement as he thought about the future kiss. Lucy had once read him a story about some girl who fell asleep and a prince came, kissed her, and they both got married and live happily ever after. If a simple kiss could hold so much power, he was going to take total advantage of it. Yes, everything was going to fall into place.

What happened within the next moment was beyond Natsu's comprehension and it wasn't because Natsu had the intelligence of a child but because there was absolutely no explanation as to why he had become so unlucky in the first place. Maybe the universe hated him. Maybe he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe he should have thought of a better plan than the lame mistletoe trick. Maybe it was Gray's fault. Yeah. That's it. It was definitely Gray's fault. That freaking ice princess can't do anything right! Yeah, Natsu wasn't really in the mood that day for one of their spats. He was much more focused on Lucy at that moment. So it kind of caught him by surprised when Gray tried to pull a prank by freezing the guild floors just as he was about to reach Lucy. The result? A kiss. And it wasn't a pleasant one. It wasn't with Lucy either. It was with Gray. Damn ice princess. Somehow the frozen floor caught Natsu by surprise, making him lose his balance which caused him to slide across the floor and ultimately crash right on top of Gray who at the moment was laughing like an idiot until the a dragon slayer toppled onto him with their teeth colliding. The end result was a bit of bleeding and some bruising. But while bleeding and bruising meant nothing to the two, it was the sheer embarrassment of having the entire guild witness the thing that made them bolt out the guild doors with the echos of the members laughing fading in the distance. Lucy giggled to herself. Gray and Natsu could be quite a handful sometimes. The ironic thing was that the two happened to be under a mistletoe.

* * *

And thus that was how Fairy Tail spent their December; hiding from mistletoe. Of course when Christmas day finally rolled around, Natsu decided that he had spent enough time trying to hide his face in shame from kissing Gray and agreed to come back to the guild. But when he got there, there was a giant blown out photo of the mistletoe mishap on the guild wall. They were never going to let him live this down were they? And so, Natsu spent his entire Christmas either eating and drinking or being made fun of and laughed at. Gray on the other hand had disappeared a little after arriving to the guild. Hmm speaking of which, where's Juvia?

"I think it's kind of cute," Lucy grinned as Natsu took a huge bite out of his fire food.

"Please don't say that," Natsu frowned. "It was digusting."

"Well, it shows that you guys are really good friends after all."

"Me and the ice princess?! Yeah, right..."

Lucy chuckled lightly. It was turning out be a really nice Christmas after all. There was no gift giving or anything fancy other than the giant feast Mira made. But the fact that she spent it with Natsu, chatting lightheartedly and laughing at all the crazy things that went about the guild, made her think that it was one of the best Christmas she ever had.


	6. Chocolate

I was experiencing some problems with converting the document over to be edited. I tried to read over it to fix the mistakes that was created in the conversion process. So if you see a Chinese character, a missing quotation mark, or a missing space between words, please just ignore it. Ugh...I haven't updated in so long. D:

* * *

Valentine's Day rolled around a bit too quickly for Natsu's liking. The holiday was actually tomorrow and he wasn't exactly sure about how he felt about it this year. Sure, everything matched his hair which was something that he indeed did find a bit of joy in (there's no holiday that matches Gray's hair) but the fact that he made absolutely zero progress with Lucy was making this Valentine's Day a little less enjoyable. Although he liked binging on candy and such, one thing he did really find unlikeable was the fact that Valentine's Day was Mira's favorite holiday which meant another one of her crazy schemes. So in order to avoid all of the craziness that Mira embodied on this day, he decided to go to Lucy's. She still kept the windows locked and so he had to go through the door. At first it felt kind of odd, entering Lucy's apartment through her door but he got used to it. She would always yell at him though. Sheesh, she yelled at him when he used to enter through her window and now when he finally takes the door she still yells at him! Women. And that was what he was expecting as he took a step into her apartment. A kick or maybe a lecture. But instead, he was met with a giant slap-in-the-face scent of chocolate.

"What are you making Lucy?" Happy asked as he floated his way into Lucy's kitchen.

"Isn't it obvious?" Lucy replied. Valentine's Day chocolates of course!"

She was in the kitchen in a pink apron with a bowl in her hand, mixing the melted cocoa concoction rhythmically while humming a tune pleasantly. Her hair had been tied back and was sheltered under a kitchen bandana. She wasn't wearing her usual skimpy clothing but instead was only in a tee shirt and some sweatpants. Although she cheerfully answered Happy, Natsu saw that she kept her focus on making the chocolate, carefully mixing and pouring it into the heart shaped molds. He peered through the kitchen door frame before entering into the room. Somehow, seeing Lucy in the kitchen making food made him feel nervous yet fluttery.

So this was what it would feel like to be married to Lucy. Coming home and seeing her in the kitchen preparing a home cook meal, waiting to eat dinner with him before they head off to bed together. And if they were married, the chances of Natsu getting kicked out of bed will be reduced to zero. And when he wakes up he'll turn over and see her sleeping soundly beside him. She's not going to yell at him for being in her bed. Instead, she'll flutter her eyes open and her long eyelashes will probably cause a hurricane somewhere then she'll whisper a pleasant good morning to him. Right after they wake up, they'll go into the other bedroom to wake up their children. They're going to have thirty by the way and they're all going to be awesome dragon slayers like him or amazing celestial wizards like her and they'll beat the hell out of Gray's kid. Gray's only going to have one by the way (or none) mainly because there's no way Gray could beat him at having kids. Gray will probably have a boy and his kid is probably going to be a wimpy frost fairy. Yeah, a frost fairy. He blushed just slightly as he continued to stare and daydream about Lucy, not even paying attention to reality until she stuck a piece of chocolate in his mouth.

She looked up at him with those warm brown eyes, smiled and asked him how it tasted. It tasted warm since it just hardened in the mold and the taste lingered in his mouth even after it melted. He sensed something different from her chocolate. Was it vanilla maybe? The chocolate she made was sweet but not overly sugary; the taste of cocoa was strong but not overbearing; and the hint of vanilla was just enough to make it unique. Just like her; sweet but not sugary, strong but not overbearing, and definitely unique in every way. And he loved the chocolate she made just like how he loved her.

"It's really good," he told her.

"Really?" Lucy asked, her eyes looking for confirmation. Natsu nodded and smiled at her cheerfully.

"Good! Because it's really special!" Her hands clapped together happily and she went back to finishing the rest of the chocolates, looking over to chat with his feline companion every once in a while.

She seemed more cheerful today than usual today. For one, she didn't try to kick him to the next century for entering house and she was actually getting along with Happy instead of calling him names. Whenever Happy made a snide remark to tease her, she just brushed it off and continued to finish up her work and the fact that the chocolate she gave him was special made him a little happy on the inside as well. Maybe she was just now seeing him as special and he couldn't help but put on a goofy smile and volunteered to help her clean up. By the time three friends were done, it was already night time and Natsu left willingly and accordingly with happy thoughts dancing through his head.

Usually on Valentine's day, the girls would take the initiative to get the guys something, usually chocolate, and the guys would reciprocate this thought by getting something for the girls the next month on White Day. But Natsu decided that maybe it was time to break tradition just once. So he woke up unusually early in the morning to stop by a store to get a little something for Lucy. After all, she gave him special chocolate so he mind as well get her something special as well, right? And having spend so much time with Lucy, he knew what she would like. Lucy, although extremely girly, didn't wear heavy makeup or pile on accessories like some girls around Magnolia. She lets her body do all the talking and she does this A LOT. But that's alright. It's not like he didn't enjoy the view. So he decided to get her a ring. A simple one instead of an ornate one. If he had gone with one that was too fancy, he knew Lucy would stash it in a box somewhere and never wear it because it's never really an occasion.

It was a simple ring, really. Just a silver band with a gem embedded into it. Admittedly, he had spent the entire portion of his money from the last mission on it though. He's probably going to be on an instant ramen diet for a month but it'll be worth it he figured. He just wanted to see Lucy smile. And surprisingly, Happy wasn't too upset that he spent all their money on a ring.

"We'll just go fishing," the cat said as he examined the ring that Natsu got. "Lucy's going to love it!"

With his best friend's approval, he made his way to the guild to find his other best friend. He opened the guild doors excitedly but to his surprise, the celestial wizard wasn't there. As he made his way to the bar stool in hopes of finding out where Lucy went through Mira, Gray came out of nowhere and hooked his arm on Natsu's shoulders.

"Yo Natsu!" Gray called. "Have you tasted this chocolate that Lucy made? It's so good!"

"What?" Natsu asked. His tone was serious, his voice was just barely above a whisper.

He looked into Gray's hand where it held a clear bag of chocolate that Lucy made. Natsu was just one step away from punching Gray in the face before he noticed that Levy was eating chocolate as well out of the corner of his eye. It was the same as Gray's. Then Natsu noticed that everyone was eating Lucy's chocolate. Cana had some. Macao and Wacaba had some. Little Romeo and Wendy, Gajeel, Laxus, Lisanna, absolutely everyone had a bag of Lucy's chocolate. Everyone except him.

"Natsu!" Mira called from behind the bar table. "Have you seen Lucy? I gotta know what she put in these chocolates! They're delicious. We might even market them as Fairy Tail chocolate."

At this point, Natsu didn't really feel like talking to Mira. His chest kind of hurt and it was weird that he felt upset over little bags of candy. Maybe it was because he foolishly thought that Lucy had made all that chocolate just for him. That those chocolates were something special coming from her. That maybe he was special to her. But he was wrong. Those chocolates were probably just friendship chocolate she made to celebrate Valentine's day. He clenched the little box that held the ring in his hands and made his way back out of the guild, leaving Happy behind, not even bothering to say anything to Mira. He had to clear his head somehow.

"Ugh! I'm so stupid!" He screamed at himself as he kicked a rock in the street hard enough that it blew a hole in someone's house. As a result, the tenants yelled at him and his reply was, "just bill it to Fairy Tail!" and he continued on his way, not knowing that his legs was taking him to Lucy's house.

He landed himself on Strawberry Street without knowing it and he saw that Lucy was standing in front of the house. His eyes widened as he saw that she was with some guy. Natsu normally didn't like to spy. Well, that's a lie. He has stolen many quick glances and peeks secretly while Lucy was bathing, and he really couldn't help but plant his feet to the ground and just watch as Lucy converse with this unknown guy. Natsu didn't like what was going on for one bit. For one thing, this guy was talking to Lucy but that wasn't the reason (well, the only reason) why it was bothering him. Despite having extremely good hearing, Natsu couldn't pick up at all what they were talking about. What was this guy's magic? They talked for a while and for a bit it was getting boring until he saw Lucy widened her eyes in surprise and then quickly jumped on the guy and hugged him hard enough that they both fell to the ground. Natsu saw her laughing as they both got up and the stranger said a farewell and left.

Something was burning in Natsu's stomach at that time, and it wasn't fire. He couldn't tell whether it was anger, or sadness, or jealousy. All he knew was that everything he felt wasn't good. It definitely didn't feel like yesterday. It felt like hate almost. He begrudgingly walked towards Lucy and she looked at him cheerfully.

"Oh, Natsu!" She smiled. Everything about her was so happy that it angered him. "There you are! I was looking for you!" she continued.

Yeah right. That had to be a lie. If she was looking for him why wasn't she at his house or by the river? She knew him enough to realize where his favorite hang out spots were, but instead she went on a date with some guy while he was foolishly waiting around with a stupid box with a ring in his hands. He started into her eyes. They were so warm and innocent and for a moment he thought about brushing the entire situation off but he could shake what he felt out of him. Why was she so oblivious?

And in that moment, Natsu just snapped. Did she know what she was doing to him? Did she really not know how he felt about her? How he saved her so many times. How he cheered her up whenever she cried. How he tried so damn hard to make her like him again that sometimes he just felt like giving up on everything. He always said that he was a Fairy Tail wizard and that meant that he would never give up on anything. But this girl had to be only girl that could make him love life so much and yet make him want to crawl into the hole and just watch the world burn. He was angry and sad and he didn't want to hurt her or anything. He just wanted to give up all together. He slowly reached out and gently yet firmly grabbed her by the shoulders. He saw her step back a little in surprise. He didn't want to make eye contact with her but he finally matched her amber brown eyes with his.

"Are you just playing me, Lucy?" he asked her. She sensed the gravity in his voice and was baffled at what he was saying.

"No! I-" Lucy started but was interrupted by the person before her.

"Then why are you doing this to me?!" This time he raised his voice. "Who was that guy?! Do you realize what you're doing to me?! Do you realize how much I've been a wreck since you came back?! I was so freaking happy when you finally escaped that lacrima but things feel so different now. You're different! I mean, you're the same person but it's not like before! You know, I visited you almost every single day! I purposely picked missions that were close to that damn cave so I could see you even though I knew that you couldn't see or hear me or even talk to me."

Natsu couldn't stop. All these words, all these pent up anger was spilling out of him like crazy and he just couldn't cut himself off. He never yelled at Lucy out of anger but he just couldn't stop.

"I wanted you to come back so badly. Do you know just how much I missed you when you were gone?! Do you?! I slept in your apartment just so I can have your scent around me! I was so afraid that you wouldn't come back, that you were gone, that you left me. And then the scent started fading and I started freaking but you came back and I was so happy. I was so happy that you came back to me, you don't even know. But I hate this so much, Lucy."

"Natsu-" Lucy started to whisper. She wanted to calm him done. This wasn't like him. Natsu was cheerful and supportive, so much more than the way he is now.

"I can't-" he started to say. She could hear the brokenness in his voice. "I can't."

"Stop it, Natsu!" Lucy finally screamed. She was crying. Tears were running down her cheeks like crazy and she couldn't stop crying no matter how hard she tried.

And within seconds of seeing the tears, Natsu bolted, running off and leaving Lucy behind. What he didn't account for was that Lucy ran right after him. He heard her calling after him loud and clear but he just kept running. He didn't want to see her like that. He just wanted to get away from everything so he just kept on going.

"Natsu!" he heard her yell out to him.

Lucy slowed down. There was no way she could catch up to Natsu. He was physically stronger and more capable than her. But she didn't want to give up. And even though her throat started to burn and her chest started to hurt she continued to run after him.

"Natsu!" she called to him again but he continued to ignore her.

She could see him fading away from her view. The once clear shot of his body became a silhouette and then a shadow and then nothingness. She wanted to keep going after him. Her legs ached and she stopped and threw off her shoes in some nearby bushes. She didn't care about the fact that she spent two month's pay on them. She didn't care that they were her favorite. She didn't care that they went with everything in her wardrobe. She just cared about running after Natsu. Without her heels on, she ran faster than before but her feet hurt even more as it slid against the hot pavement, creating flesh wounds. But she had to catch up to him, no matter what.

When she saw him again, she tried to run faster. She felt her feet getting splinters. There were a few times that she stepped on rocks but she didn't even bother. The unusually hot pavement burned through her skin. She glanced at her feet and saw that they were reddening. She felt her legs getting tender but she didn't want to give up. Natsu was getting closer and pushed herself with all that she had to catch up. Nothing mattered in that moment but Natsu. Breathing had become a chore for her. It was so hard to inhale air and it was so painful to exhale. She felt her lungs scrunching together and she wanted to scream from the pain. Her head was throbbing from the heat but she wasn't going to give up. But then, her body gave out and she fell onto the cement.

Blood gushed out of her knees like a red river. She looked at her feet and swept off some of the dirt. The skin at the bottom had been peeled off revealing her flesh. Like her knees, her feet were bleeding at the bottom. Splinters were embedded into it and they ached so badly. Why couldn't she just push herself harder? Why couldn't she catch up to him? Why was she so weak? Seeing the hopelessness in her intentions, she stayed put to the ground, buried her face in her hands, and just cried, drawing attention from passerby.

Juvia was in a good mood, a very good mood. Today was the day. Today was the day that Gray finally accepted to go on a date with her. She was happy. Yes, indeed she was happy. It was a little out of the ordinary but it finally happened. After Natsu left the guild earlier in the day, Juvia was chatting lightly with Gray as she nibbled on the chocolate that Lucy made for her. She mentioned a new restaurant that was opening in town and Gray was the one that suggested for two them to go and she really couldn't be happier. They both agreed that they would meet each other in front of Magnolia's park at seven sharp but out of excitement, Juvia decided to show up half an hour early and to her surprise, Lucy was sitting in front of the park entrance, crying in a terrible state. Her feet were bleeding and covered with dirt while the knees had a stream of blood riding down on it, blackened from drying on her skin. How long has Lucy been sitting there? Worried, Juvia picked up her pace and ran towards Lucy. Juvia pulled herself down so that she could be eye level with her. She put a hand on her shoulders.

"Lucy?" she asked concerned. The sound of Juvia's voice startled her for a second and she looked up towards the water mage.

"Juvia..." Lucy cried and her tears continued to cascade down her cheeks with reddened eyes. I t-t-tried to r-r-run after him, b-b-but..Her words kept on meshing together and she couldn't enunciate correctly through her crying.

"Calm down," Juvia placed her hands on Lucy's shoulders. Why was Lucy like this? Who did this to you?"

Lucy sniffled before telling the water mage that she did it to herself. She continued to cry, her breath began to hitch and she couldn't breath right. Seeing this, Juvia ushered for her to stop trying to explain things and she helped Lucy get to her feet, hooking Lucy's arm over her shoulders. Using her water, Juvia washed some of the blood off of Lucy's legs and aided her in keeping her balance. She then called down a cab and the two huddled inside, heading towards Strawberry Street.

By the time they finally reached Lucy's apartment, she had calmed down. Juvia didn't force her to talk and she helped Lucy up the steps to her room. Lucy's room was clean until she stepped inside. A bit of blood drained from her feet and landed on her floor, leaving a trail from the front door to her bedroom.

"Sit," Juvia commanded as she pulled Lucy down onto the bed. She then left the room and went into Lucy's kitchen and prepared two cups of tea. After she was done, she gave one of the cups to Lucy and they both silently took small sips of it. Lucy didn't make any eye contact with Juvia and just stared into her cup.

For a long time, the silence shook the room until Juvia got back up again and left the room. She washed her cup and put it back in the cupboard. Then she searched around for a first aid kit. When she finally found it behind the bathroom mirror, she entered in Lucy's room again. Lucy was still just sitting there staring at her cup until Juvia approached her and sat herself on the ground along the side of the bed. She then grabbed Lucy's feet.

"What are you doing?Lucy cried out in surprise.

"Juvia has to bandage Lucy's feet or else Lucy might get an infection," Juvia answered with a serious tone. Wendy-san has already gone out on a mission today, so she cannot come by to help. But Juvia knows how to bandage a wound. Juvia has done it for Gajeel-san many times. If Lucy does not get her wounds bandaged now, she might get an infection."

Lucy nodded as Juvia started disinfecting her knees and feet. She winced when Juvia used her water to wash some more of the blood off and she nearly cried when she started applying antiseptic to her wounds. Her cuts were deep but somehow it didn't hurt as much as watching Natsu run from her like that. After cleaning the wounds, Juvia started to bandage Lucy neatly and when she was done, she placed the first aid kit on Lucy's night stand and sat on the bed next to her. The room was filled with silence once again as Lucy continued to stare into her cup and Juvia only observed her.

"You know,Lucy started to say, It was really scary in that lacrima."

Juvia was surprised. Lucy had never talked about her experience of being gone before. Juvia figured it was like she was sleeping and she just woke up but maybe it was a little different. She waited for Lucy to continue but for a long time they sat in silence again. Juvia didn't like the way Lucy was. Lucy is always so cheerful so seeing her like this made her really sad. Lucy accepted and befriended her so kindly and now it was time for her to repay Lucy for her kindness.

"I could hear voices," Lucy started again, just barely above a whisper. And then the tears started to fall again. "I was so scared, Juvia! Constantly, I could hear the voices of other people. There are memories inside that lacrima. People's feelings, emotions, and memories kept on playing in my head and I just couldn't get it to stop!"

Juvia shot back in shock. Lucy was going berserk. She was grabbing her head shaking about and shouting. Her voice was cracking through all the tears but she just kept screaming at the water mage.

"The lacrima eats the human emotions and I really felt scared! I didn't know what was going to happen to me and I was slowly losing my sanity. I wasn't sure if it had been months or years or seconds that I've been inside that lacrima! There was no light in there. Just darkness and hopelessness. There was no warmth just the aching cold...And everything just hurt all the time."

Lucy had slowed down and she was panting, exhausted from using all her breath. After her breathing had started to slow. Lucy looked up at Juvia. Juvia was crying. She was crying from the sadness that Lucy had experience. Lucy had been suffering all this time from the lacrima. She was hurting and everybody thought she was dead, put out of her misery. Why did this happen to Lucy? Lucy was innocent, beautiful, and kind. She didn't deserve it. All this time, she had been hiding it from her and the guild members. All this time, she could have said something but she didn't. And Juvia understood why. Lucy didn't want her friends to worry, but Juvia was happy that Lucy was telling her. It meant that Lucy trusted her and really did believe that Juvia was her friend despite their rocky relationship.

"But then Natsu," Lucy interrupted Juvia's train of thought, he came to see me a lot."

"Lucy knew?" Juvia interjected. Lucy nodded in reply.

"Even though I was stuck in there. I could see him and Happy. I could hear what they were saying," Lucy explained. She drew her hand to her chest. "Whenever he came to visit, it felt less cold. Whenever he talked to me about how the guild was doing, it felt less lonely. It was like the fire inside him started to burn inside the lacrima and the voices lessened and I could feel his heart through the lacrima since it eats human emotions. And I wanted to see him really badly, Juvia...The tears had started again. I really wanted to see him. I wanted to see him so badly, I was willing to do anything! Anything! I gave up my heart to get back my freedom. I did all so I could see him and everybody and I believed in him. I really believed that if something like this was going to happen to me, Natsu could fix it. But today..." her voice started to slow, "he just got angry for no reason and began yelling at me!She shouted between sobs. He started running and I tried to run after him but no matter how many times I called him, no matter how many times I asked him to slow down, he just ignored me and ran faster!"

Lucy had lost control again. Her breathing quickened and she couldn't calm down. She just kept crying and crying and she couldn't stop. Juvia didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to comfort her. She had never had someone confide to her something like this. Out of nowhere she grabbed onto Lucy and brought her to her chest, hugging her like a child, cradling her. Lucy brought her hands up and hugged back. She didn't hold anything back and just let everything loose. All that she felt she poured onto Juvia and Juvia reciprocated by letting her. And that was how they stayed. The tears from Lucy's eyes absorbed through Juvia's new blouse that she bought for her date with Gray. And eventually, the room became silent again, without the sobs and sniffling.

Lucy always thought that water was cool to the touch so she never expected to feel so warm in Juvia's arm. It almost felt like being with her mother. There were times that she cried and her mother used to just hold her in her arms until she fell asleep. Juvia really was a kind person. And before she drifted off to sleep, she caught a glimpse at the window and noticed that it had started to rain.


	7. Rain

Somewhere along the lines of meeting Juvia, Gray had learned to tell the difference between rain weather and Juvia's rain. It's hard to explain but when her rain hit his skin, it didn't feel like water, it felt like her touch. So when it started to rain after two hours of waiting for Juvia in front of the park, he knew something wasn't right. For one, he doesn't mean to be self-centered, but there was no way the water mage would pass him up for anything. And for two, there was no way she would keep him waiting. Things weren't right with the rain but he felt Juvia through it. He felt her calling for him and so he just started to walk and somehow her rain started to lead him to Lucy's apartment and Gray unknowingly followed.

At first he felt guilty, he was supposed to meet Juvia for a dinner date and yet he found himself in front of the door of the home of one of his most trusted friend. Female friend. Random thoughts jumbled through his mind and he couldn't help but be worried that maybe something happened to Juvia and instead of trying to find her, he's going to Lucy's apartment. He pulled his hair in frustration and mentally yelled at himself until the door swung open.

"Juvia?" Gray greeted with a surprised expression.

"Gray-sama," Juvia greeted back. "Please, come in."

He did as she told and stepped inside. She closed the door behind him.

"What's going on?" Gray started to question. "Why are you here? Weren't we supposed to have dinner together?"

"Yes, but.." Juvia looked away. "Something happened."

"What? What is it?" he asked frantically.

"Lucy-san. Something happened to Lucy-san." On that final note, Juvia held Gray's hand and led him to the bedroom where she tucked Lucy in earlier shortly after she fell asleep.

"What's going on, Juvia?" Gray interrogated.

"Juvia will tell you later, but Juvia needs you to watch Lucy for a moment."

"Wait. Why? Isn't she just sleeping?"

"She's injured, Gray-sama. We're not going on our date today, but that's okay because Juvia has something to take care of. So please, watch Lucy. Her feet and knees are injured so she might have trouble getting up."

"What happened?" Gray asked with concern in his eyes.

"Juvia promises that she will explain everything later. But please, watch Lucy-san. Juvia doesn't want her to be alone when she wakes up."

Gray nodded, signaling his agreement to Juvia's request and sat himself on a chair before watching his date leave the room.

"Fucking trees!" Natsu cursed as he removed another splinter with his teeth. "Hmm...at least the rain had stopped."

Natsu really needed to invest in some high grade punching bag. However, he figured that if he could knock trees down with his fist, he would probably punch a hole in a punching bag with a light tap. He really needed to respect nature a bit more but it seemed as though the forest was the only place he could calm himself down in. He didn't like the way things are with him and Lucy. The simplicity of friendship had long crossed the boundary lines and he really believed that there was no way things could go back to the way they once were from when they were just friends. In truth, he was angry at himself for yelling at Lucy like that. He wasn't exactly known for self control but he had never treated Lucy the way he did back at her apartment. It was just that, he was so angry and unsatisfied.

Why did things turn out this way? Why was he the only one in love? She was probably on a date with that guy. He felt himself boiling just thinking about it. But that didn't give him any right to treat her like trash. She should be able to date anybody she wants but that doesn't mean that he didn't want it to be himself. He continued to mull over the situation, unsure as to whether he should apologize or not. But in truth, he had decided to give up on Lucy. Things should go back to the way before; before all this love shit happened.

Natsu was so deep in thought that he didn't even realize that Juvia had appeared until she cut his face with a quick movement of her water slicer ability. Her eyes had long gone dark and he saw the seriousness drawn on her face. She wanted to combat him.

"Juvia," he started to speak, "I don't have time for you." And he turned around so that he was no longer facing the water mage.

She hit him again with her water slicer, not even holding back for her fellow guildmate.

"What's up with you, water woman?" he asked challengingly. "You wanna fight? Fine. But I'm not holding back just cause you're a girl." He lit his hand up with his fire.

"Juvia doesn't expect you to," Juvia finally said before jumping for an attack.

A clash of the elements was occurring. Fire against water. Water against fire. Two opposite elements battling against each other. Natsu had never fought Juvia before and so he was unsure of her fighting technique but he quickly realized that she was a whole lot better than he thought. But if Gray could beat her than so could he. He threw another punch to which Juvia quickly maneuvered against. She was definitely fast with amazing agility. Neither of them could land a hit on each other. He tried using his fire breath but it proved pointless since Juvia merely dodged it and even managed to put it out with her water several times. For Juvia it was the same, Natsu earned the title Salamander for a good reason and he quickly dodged her water attacks as well.

The fight seemed to last for hours. The two mage at such an equal level that their abilities remained so matched, that neither was able to give out.

"How dare you do that to Lucy-san?"

Hearing the Lucy's name caused him to hesitate, in which Juvia quickly used this opportunity to not hit him with her water, but to punch him straight in the face. It was such a powerful punch that Natsu's body shot back. He had no idea that she housed that much strength in her other than her water abilities.

Juvia was panting. The fight took a lot out of her but she didn't care. Natsu deserved another punch in the face but she figured she has to get back to Lucy.

"What happened to Lucy?" Juvia heard his voice ring out through the silence.

"Natsu should know."

"What happened?" At this point, he shot up. He was worried. He knew that Juvia hated Lucy. Or at least that's what he thought. Something bad must have happened if Juvia was willing to beat him up because of it.

"Natsu," Juvia interrupted his train of thought. "Natsu should see her for himself. Juvia is angry at Natsu because he gave up on Lucy."

"Huh?"

"Lucy never gave up on Natsu," Juvia calmly explained. Her eyes started to swell with tears. "So Natsu shouldn't give up on Lucy. Please..." Juvia started to cry. "Please...don't give up on Lucy."

With that final word, she left and went back to the apartment, leaving the fire dragon slayer to sit back in the forest amongst the broken trees.

When Juvia got back Lucy still soundly asleep. She sat silently on a chair next to the bed beside Gray and watched over Lucy like a mother watching over her child while she told Gray everything that happened from the moment she found Lucy in front of the park. When she was done, she saw a tear dropping from Lucy's eyes and she quickly grabbed a tissue from the end table and wiped away her tears.

"So even in your sleep you are sad," Juvia whispered.

Gray got up and headed towards the kitchen to make something for Juvia to drink. He didn't know exactly what happened but Juvia was a mess. Her clothes were all ripped up and her hair looked like badgers attacked it. He didn't question it since she seemed so focus on Lucy at the moment but he did convince her that Lucy wouldn't mind if Juvia borrowed her clothes. Lucy's wardrobe didn't exactly cater to Juvia's taste and so she blushed slightly when she put on the short shorts and the tank top that belonged to Lucy. Juvia wasn't the type to show as much skin as Lucy so she felt a little uncomfortable with the level of air that passed around her body. Gray chuckled lightly as he thought of Juvia and he was in the middle of putting the tea bags in the cups of boiling water when he heard the door click open. He exited the kitchen and saw Natsu walk in. And in blind anger, her launched himself towards Natsu and punched him in the face.

"What's your problem?!" Natsu shouted.

"What's my problem?!" Gray punched him again but Natsu dodged quickly. "I don't know?! How about the fact that Lucy can't fucking walk because of you?!"

"What?" Natsu was confused. What was Gray talking about?

"How do you think I feel when I have to help walk my friend to the bathroom because her feet are so badly damaged that she can't even hold herself up?! And for what?! For an idiot like you!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Natsu shouted back.

"You slanted-eye bastard! You better leave this apartment!"

"Why should I?! I come here all the time! Wait, what were you doing in her apartment in the first place?!"

"Natsu!" the sound of her voice caught him by surprise. It was her voice. Lucy's voice.

Both Gray and Natsu stopped their shouting and quickly shot a glance at Lucy who was being held up by Juvia at beginning of the hallway.

"Stop it! Stop fighting!" Lucy yelled. She took a step and winced in pain, losing her grip on Juvia. Lucy collided to the floor and Natsu watched with a horrified expression.

"Luce," he started to call out to her as he got to his feet and headed towards her to help her up.

"Don't touch her!" yelled Gray. Natsu looked back at him. "Don't you dare touch her. You've done enough."

Natsu ignored Gray and continued with his earlier task but was beaten to it by Juvia who was already helping Lucy onto a chair.

"Luce..." he tried to say once again.

She looked up at him. Her eyes were filled with sadness and they pleaded to him.

"Why didn't you stop?" she cried out. "I ran after you. I called out your name. Why didn't you stop?" she asked again.

"I-" he didn't really have an explanation for this. Instead he stuttered and just stood there staring at her in silence. Lucy looked away disappointingly.

"Go away," she said firmly.

"Luce! I'm sorry!" he apologized.

"Don't call me Luce! Leave!"

He wasn't sure about what to do. On one hand, he wanted to just wrap his arms around her and hugged her tightly and beg for her forgiveness. But he was afraid. He was so afraid that she would never forgive him. That she would push him away. Lucy had already become so distant from him since she got back. The heart that he had been able to touch ever so slightly had been locked away and he couldn't bear for her to drift farther from him than she already has. So he obeyed her with a nod and left without another word. When the door closed behind him, Lucy started to cry again. She had spent the entire day crying. She figured that she would run out of tears but with Natsu, she would never shed enough.

"Lucy," Juvia said comfortingly.

"I'm sorry," Lucy apologized. "I'm sorry for being like this. I'm sorry that you have to take care of me."

"It's alright," Gray assured. "You're our friend."

"Gray-sama?"

"Yes?"

"Could you please get some more antiseptic? Juvia will need to clean Lucy's wounds again later."

"Alright." Gray agreed and headed out the door. "But if I see ash-for-brains, I'm not holding back."

When Juvia heard the door click closed, she turned to Lucy.

"Juvia is sorry," she said apologetically.

"For what?" Lucy asked.

"Juvia told Natsu to come see you. Juvia didn't realize that Lucy didn't want to see him."

"It's okay, Juvia."

The silence that followed their short conversation was awkward but in a way it was pleasant. Sometimes being in the presence of silence between friends is a gift given. Words don't always have to be said for there to be understanding.

"Neh, Lucy?" Juvia asked again.

"Yes?"

"Juvia knows that it's strange for her to say this, but-" She paused awkwardly to see how Lucy is reacting to her. When she saw the hint of curiosity in Lucy's eyes, she continued. "-But Juvia doesn't believe that everything is lost."

"What are you saying?"

"Lucy is crying because of Natsu. Because you care about him. Maybe your tears are are not a sign of sadness but the result of you starting to love him again."

Lucy was unsure of what to say back to Juvia. Juvia could either be right or wrong when it came to this. She contemplated the matter for a while. On the outside it looked as if she was angry at Natsu for leaving her but in truth she also caused herself to be in this situation. She didn't have to run after him. She could have just let him leave on his own. But...the look in Natsu's eyes when he saw her in front of her apartment wasn't that of anger. When he yelled at her, it wasn't out of anger at all. It was out of...sadness. She knew that Natsu felt strongly for her. It was obvious with the way he acted towards her since she came back. However, she couldn't be cruel to him and reciprocate his feelings for her no matter how much she wanted to. So why exactly did she chase after him?

Lucy's eyes widened in shock as she started to come to a realization. She chased after him because she wanted to explain things. She wanted to show Natsu that what he saw was just a misunderstanding. But why? Why not just let Natsu think that she was on a date?

Because maybe just maybe she wanted Natsu to still love her even though she didn't love him. She wanted him to still follow after her, to still take care of her, to still be there for her. How could she be so selfish as to want something as this? How could she wish for such a thing? Lucy really believed that she was the most despicable human being on Earth. She selfishly wanted Natsu to love her, to give his heart to her. His heart belonged to only her while her heart remained untouched by him. That was what she wanted. Lucy couldn't help but sadly smile with tears running down her reddened cheeks at the realization. Since when had she become such a monster?


End file.
